Read on Twitter
Okay, friends. Thanksgiving is coming up and for people for whom this is one of the few days a year we spend with family, it is going to be a rough one. So I'm putting together a mini survival guide.
1) If you don't feel safe around your relatives, DON'T GO. Don't feel pressured to be in a room with people, this year of all years.
2) If you don't feel safe or comfortable around your relatives because of their political views, and you're white and otherwise relatively safe, this is also the year to tell them so. You don't have to be there. You have the best excuse.
We saw an increase in white voters who chose to vote for Trump in this election. If those are your relatives and you're also white (and otherwise relatively safe), there has never been a better time to tell them no.
3) There has also never been a better time to take the money you would have spent on a pie or whatever you bring to Thanksgiving to your family gathering and donate it (if you can afford to) to support indigenous Americans in your family's name.
If you like your family, they will probably think this is a super kind way to recognize them on a day that has a lot of conflicting meanings for many American families; if you don't like your family, you are giving to people who are much more deserving of your care.
(You can also do this if you ARE going to spend the holiday with family and can afford it!)
4) If you have a family you WANT to spend time with, start planning NOW, whether it is going to be in person or virtual. Make it as stress-free as possible on the actual day so you can appreciate the people you love.
5) Thanksgiving Day is 2 weeks from this Thursday. As COVID numbers go up around the country, if you are planning to spend the day in person with anyone you don't live with, THIS THURSDAY is the day for you all to start self-isolating, as much as possible, so you can all be safe.
6) If you decide at the last minute that you and/or someone you were planning to spend the day with haven't been safe enough to be around other people, it is OKAY. Make sure everyone has a backup plan for any person dropping out for health concerns. Safety comes first.
7) VIRTUAL THANKSGIVING IS ALSO OKAY. Plan now so everyone knows what software and accounts are being used and you can minimize last-minute troubleshooting.
8) It is also okay to not make a big fuss about food, to order takeout or prepared dinner, to just make a box of Kraft Dinner if that's what you think you can manage. Just communicate with everyone to set expectations. But taking care of yourselves comes first.
9) If you ARE doing a potluck, make sure to have everything planned well in advance so there's no frantic last minute arrangements. And make sure everyone has a fallback option in case they really can't manage the thing they were assigned.
10) If you're doing a potluck, or doing all your own cooking, or doing a Zoom Thanksgiving and want everyone to be able to share recipes, I have a handy spreadsheet I have been using in some shape or form since 2004. & I'm happy to share! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-usc3DcGla6Gx847QFu7oyFMxQYwOGs3dMFcXXtAsjs/edit#gid=0
(It has spots for links to recipes or books/pages, for a shopping list, and for a to do list for each day of the week so if different people have to do prep work, you can split it up easily or keep track of all your own tasks)
11) Remember that the primary responsibility of children of immigrants on Thanksgiving is to work to restore justice for indigenous Americans, and that the second one for anyone who chooses to do it is to show appreciation to people in your life whom you love.
If you can do something to contribute to the first, that's great. Be kind to yourself about the second. The people you love also love you! And they will understand that this year is harder than others and we all are making difficult choices and sometimes having to scale down.
