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The word "transmisandry" has only recently become popular because the "all men evil" crowd just now decided to make it a relevant problem in the queer community. We only use this word bc it's becoming normalized to treat trans men like privileged oppressors, or say shit like:
Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming that transmisandry is even remotely comparable to transmisogyny. Transmisogyny is a lethal & systemic problem that is widespread in cis society, transmisandry is -specifically- a problem within the queer community.
That said, we didn't have this issue of (mostly) queer cis women feeling entitled to harass and say they're more oppressed than trans men until about 7/8 years ago. Before, trans men only got transmisandry from cis gay men, who would specifically harass us for our male identity.
And cishet men would just subject us to typical misogyny (as they still see us as women) and transphobia. Nothing that could be considered as specific as transmisogyny. But now we have a problem of people specifically targeting trans men and/or erasing our oppression.
if you're a (likely younger) transmasc and you haven't heard of this before, there are fake 'feminists' that are now harassing us more than they harass cis men. to the same degree that TERFs target transfems more than they do cis men. This is literally a new breed of TERF.
I've said it before, if you don't include trans men (who are still TRANS people and therefore conceptually more oppressed and hated under the patriarchy than ANY cis person) in your idea of feminism, your feminism is BY DEFINITION trans exclusionary.
This hatred of trans men has gone so fucking far that it's reached queer cis men, who joke about us being just as bad of oppressors and just as privileged as them. As usual, cis queer men feel entitled to talk about and subsequently erase our ---TRANS--- oppression.
Just to be clear, this is only specifically being called transmisandry because the people doing it are exclusively supportive of transfems. If they were doing this shit to transfems too, they'd just be normal transphobes, but some of the people doing this shit even ARE transfems.
Not many, to be fair, but it's for some reason becoming a thing. And it's fucking weird. These people are literally targeting us on our trans male identity alone, and specifically excluding our transness from their understanding of patriarchy and privilege.
Even if we were just as privileged as cis men, (which holy shit we aren't, I could talk for hours about every single way that statistically, trans men have it worse than all cis people, male or female) patriarchy hurts EVERYONE in some way. This is v old, v basic feminist theory.
"men are trash" started as a cis-centric phrase that cis women used to call out cis men. For some reason, they never thought that maybe gender essentialist language wouldn't carry over very well to include trans people. And it fucking hasn't.
Non-passing and closeted transfems have repeatedly said that the "men bad" rhetoric makes them feel uncomfortable, as any of these neo TERFs could just easily assume they're men and call them privileged abusers just for existing.
Nonbinary transmasculine people who pass as male have repeatedly said that the "men bad" rhetoric, when aimed at them, makes them incredibly uncomfortable and dysphoric, as they ARE NOT MEN and these people are treating/demonizing them like they are.
Trans women, even passing trans women, have repeatedly said that the "men bad" rhetoric makes them feel unsafe, on the basis that the only thing keeping these people from hating them is their female/non-male identity or their passing as female.
Trans men, especially non-passing trans men, have repeatedly said that the "men bad" rhetoric blatantly demonizes them, makes them feel guilty for transitioning, and the people using this rhetoric use it to harass and erase their experience of misogyny/transphobia/oppression.
Closeted trans men have repeatedly said that the "men bad" rhetoric has kept them from transitioning out of fear that not even the queer community will welcome them, and fear that they'll somehow become as abusive as cis men, even though they fucking understand & hate misogyny.
Trans people KEEP TELLING YOU THAT THIS IS GROSS. gender essentialism of any kind, especially the demonizing kind of gender essentialism, is inherently and violently transphobic and leads straight into transmisogyny if the gender essentialism turns into sex essentialism.
Tell me, why are all men trash? Is it because all men experience privilege? Sure, except for the men that don't. Except for the men that the patriarchy hates significantly more than it hates cis women. Except for black men, who the racist patriarchy sees as a threat to white men.
Is it because men are biologically predisposed to violence? Well then my friend, you're stepping into the kind of gender essentialism that is just blatant transmisogyny.
Is it because the male identity is an inherently violent one? What the fuck even is a male identity, what defines it? It's just as much of a construct as a female or non-male identity. There's no real inherent properties to it other than the label "male."
Is masculinity itself inherently violent? Aight, tell that to butches, tell that to non-masculine male identifying people, tell that to closeted/non-passing trans women. tell that to anyone who exhibits any traits that YOU consider masculine. You're just a transmisogynist.
The bottom line is this: by participating in gender essentialist language, you bolster the transmisic patriarchy. I don't care if it's how you deal with your trauma. Some of my abusers/direct oppressors have been cis women, does that make it ok for me to be a misogynist?
Does that make it okay for me to take my trauma with cis women and then broadly apply it to all women, including trans women? Fucking NO!! The trauma coping argument is A COMMON TERF ARGUMENT USED TO HARASS TRANSFEMS! Using it on transmascs doesn't make it any less transphobic!
trans people keep fucking telling y'all that this is bad, and you then selectively decide to only listen to the pickme ass trans people who say it's okay to harass trans men just to get cis queer acceptance. Maybe consider that all the trans people telling you off are correct.