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FPL STATS OF SHITHOUSERY ππππ πππ‘π
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GW VIII
The not good, the bad and the ugly
State of these absolute wastemen
Dive in. Or don't. I don't really care. I'll be honest this is as tossed out as a 17 year old's roll of tissues.
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GW VIII
The not good, the bad and the ugly
State of these absolute wastemen
Dive in. Or don't. I don't really care. I'll be honest this is as tossed out as a 17 year old's roll of tissues.
Pickford - 4.9 - EVE
What an absolute cretin of a player JP truly is. A keeper who doesn't have the nous or ability to be a genuine shithouser like legends such as Jens Lehmann. Everton won't win the title. They won't even get top 6. This is why. Prickford. Centre back slayer.
What an absolute cretin of a player JP truly is. A keeper who doesn't have the nous or ability to be a genuine shithouser like legends such as Jens Lehmann. Everton won't win the title. They won't even get top 6. This is why. Prickford. Centre back slayer.
Egan - 4.8 - SHU
Bottom of the table and without a win, the Blades haven't so much been blunted, but completely disarmed, stripped naked, gagged, bound, put into a barrel and tipped over a waterfall.
This was a lesson. And a painful one. Like Battle of the fucking Somme.
Bottom of the table and without a win, the Blades haven't so much been blunted, but completely disarmed, stripped naked, gagged, bound, put into a barrel and tipped over a waterfall.
This was a lesson. And a painful one. Like Battle of the fucking Somme.
Ayling - 4.5 - LEE
The MUST BUY budget defender this season, said experts, patreons and moderately good looking Italians with sub 3m ORs.
He wasn't though was he. Because he's fucking shit. And Leeds couldn't defend on FIFA novice mode at home to Bognor.
The MUST BUY budget defender this season, said experts, patreons and moderately good looking Italians with sub 3m ORs.
He wasn't though was he. Because he's fucking shit. And Leeds couldn't defend on FIFA novice mode at home to Bognor.
Gabriel - 5.1 - ARS
Banter first shithousery from Arsenal, which normally I'd love to see, had I not bought one of their defenders for my wankstain of an FPL team.
I should have listened to @FPLNym - don't trust Leno, don't trust the Arsenal defence. Just buy fucking Chilwell.
Banter first shithousery from Arsenal, which normally I'd love to see, had I not bought one of their defenders for my wankstain of an FPL team.
I should have listened to @FPLNym - don't trust Leno, don't trust the Arsenal defence. Just buy fucking Chilwell.
Lewis - 4.3 - NEW
I don't know how many times I have to say this, because I don't want to get personal with the lad... but he simply cannot defend.
Like do ANY of the basics.
It's like weaning a fucking child with sliced avocado. Get a grip.
OH WAIT THEY CAN'T CAN THEY.
I don't know how many times I have to say this, because I don't want to get personal with the lad... but he simply cannot defend.
Like do ANY of the basics.
It's like weaning a fucking child with sliced avocado. Get a grip.
OH WAIT THEY CAN'T CAN THEY.
Hendrick - 4.9 - NEW
This was a central midfielder at home.
Touches 25
Passes 17
Headers 0
Tackles 0
Chances Created 0
Crosses 0
Shots 0
Interceptions 0
Clearances 0
Blocks 0
Point of Existence 0
This was a central midfielder at home.
Touches 25
Passes 17
Headers 0
Tackles 0
Chances Created 0
Crosses 0
Shots 0
Interceptions 0
Clearances 0
Blocks 0
Point of Existence 0
Podence - 5.5 - WOL
Like a trapped fart gently seeping out... I actually quite like Podence as a player, but his manager clearly doesn't.
Indeed, he continues to play 60/30 tag team tennis with Adama Traore, whilst the Police fail to investigate Neto for obvious kidnapping.
Like a trapped fart gently seeping out... I actually quite like Podence as a player, but his manager clearly doesn't.
Indeed, he continues to play 60/30 tag team tennis with Adama Traore, whilst the Police fail to investigate Neto for obvious kidnapping.
Lookman - 5.0 - FUL
Sterling - 11.5 - MCI
One goal in 237 games against Liverpool now, Sterling is in wretched form and the continued faith being shown in him by Pep is almost painful. Like, just give him a day off, for his own sake.
He's dying more than a Dark Souls run through out there.
One goal in 237 games against Liverpool now, Sterling is in wretched form and the continued faith being shown in him by Pep is almost painful. Like, just give him a day off, for his own sake.
He's dying more than a Dark Souls run through out there.
Wood - 6.3 - BUR
6 goals without a game for Chris Wood... and indeed the whole of Burnley football club. Who now just exist to give FPL players at least one guaranteed return each week.
Unless you're @MorpheusFire of course. Guy couldn't find points on a two mile dart board.
6 goals without a game for Chris Wood... and indeed the whole of Burnley football club. Who now just exist to give FPL players at least one guaranteed return each week.
Unless you're @MorpheusFire of course. Guy couldn't find points on a two mile dart board.
DCL - 7.8 - EVE
I'm not saying Calvert-Lewin's assist was unjust, but if he had to prove it in a court of law he would have as much success as Trump is going to have overturning an election.
"But your honour, it's up to them to prove I didn't touch it, I were in the mix like"
I'm not saying Calvert-Lewin's assist was unjust, but if he had to prove it in a court of law he would have as much success as Trump is going to have overturning an election.
"But your honour, it's up to them to prove I didn't touch it, I were in the mix like"
I mean if the world has ever needed proof the man bun should be banned. This was it. Right here. This crime against humanity
"It might have brushed his hair band your honour. Nobody knows for sure"
"So take the assist away then?"
"But your honour, his ownership. HIS OWNERSHIP"
"It might have brushed his hair band your honour. Nobody knows for sure"
"So take the assist away then?"
"But your honour, his ownership. HIS OWNERSHIP"
What a shit show, and I only own two of these mop jockey's.
Go and distract yourself for two weeks. Please don't monitor price rises like I monitored the votes in Nevada for 60 hours I'll never get back.
That was the free world at stake. This is fucking FPL.
One love. HM.
Go and distract yourself for two weeks. Please don't monitor price rises like I monitored the votes in Nevada for 60 hours I'll never get back.
That was the free world at stake. This is fucking FPL.
One love. HM.
