Thread by @alex_mallender, Something to cheer you up on this first Saturday of lockdown 2.0.Here's [...]

Something to cheer you up on this first Saturday of lockdown 2.0.
Here's a thread of when my dad had a run-in with @JasonManford a while back and was mentioned on the radio

So my mum and dad run a business from home that requires a bit of printing. Lived in this same house for years, very close to the school I went to as a kid (was great cause my lazy arse would get up much later than the other kids)

The crux of the issue here is parking, never anywhere to park due to teachers and parents.. and because of the business, they have big drop offs and deliveries from vans. To stop the teachers parking in front of the house my dad puts cones in the way. The Teachers hate him

One day during the school drop off, who should rock up in his car, Jason Manford of course. He must have seen the cones a few times before and thought "honestly, sod this" moves them and parks up. My dad is watching like a hawk

Dad makes his way outside to confront him, old spaghetti western style
"Erm excuse me, I live here! Those are my cones! I need them out for a delivery" (nooooo)
Jason shrugs it off, 'oh okay then, sorry its not a big issue' kind of thing, whatever.
Dad tells mum... Big mistake

Mum is aware of Jason's radio show. Her 'Karen-sense' is tingling (she's not called Karen fyi), she listens in later that day. Jason starts talking about the run-in with my dad. Jason dubs him:
Cone Man
(I've told him he's having this on his headstone one day)

Jason goes on to talk about Cone man being in the wrong and so on. My mum is SEETHING, she messages in "Maybe you should hear the other side of story, that was my house/parking space!" Something to that effect.
She loves rattling cages that Mrs Cone Man.

Anyway, later that day there's a knock at the door, mum is out so dad gets it. It's Jason again, he apologises to my dad about the parking and the radio show mention. My dad taken aback and invites him in.

For some odd reason dad has this insatiable need to prove he wasn't having Jason on about the deliveries, so says "I'll show you where I keep the printers" absolute nutter my dad, I'm sure Jason was thrilled.

Dad takes Jason into the cellar. Now I'd love to know what's going through Jason's mind right now, this could be the greater Manchester version of Fred West after all. Hats off to him for wandering into a strangers home, let alone follow them into their cellar.

(Also my mum and dad keep grandma's spare wheelchair and zimmer and all these other old people possessions kept out of the way in the pit that is their cellar.. So they must have looked like they had bumped off some old fogies too and left their treasured possessions)

So anyway, Jason makes it out alive and probably had more questions now than before he entered the house. Dad told mum when she got home and she was miffed she missed meeting him. They both got a delivery of flowers from him a few days later, what a nice guy!

Mum doing her usual curtain twitching one day (making sure no-one moves their cones) sees Jason waiting outside the school. Making the most of the situation she waltzes up to him and says,
"Hi, I just want to thank you for the flowers... I'm Cone Man's wife"

Anyway that's the story from how my dad recites the events.
@JasonManford if any 'artistic liberties' have been taken, let me know and I'll tell them they are talking nonsense.
However they both talk very highly of you since you went over.

Cheers,

Cone Man's son

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