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To all the pundits, politicians, and randos who are suddenly paying attention to PA and wondering what the hell is happening here, let me help you out.
1. Yes, @JohnFetterman really is our Lt Gov. Yeah he normally dresses like that, and we like it. Most of us like him.
1. Yes, @JohnFetterman really is our Lt Gov. Yeah he normally dresses like that, and we like it. Most of us like him.
2. Our two biggest cities have some of the biggest “fuck around and find out” energy in the country. Fighting here is not just normal, it’s expected. Other places pride themselves on how nice they are. We don’t care.
3. Yes we really do fight over whether Wawa or Sheetz are better. You may think it’s stupid to debate about a convenience store, but we don’t care. Get over it. It’s serious business.
4. Yes @GrittyNHL really is the mascot for the Flyers. He is a fever dream of madcap violence and we like it like that.
5. Yes an Eagles fan really did eat horse shit off the street after the Eagles won. Yes they threw snowballs at Santa. Yes Philly destroyed the robot that traveled the world promoting peace.
6. Every year we have a farm show in Harrisburg where we admire butter sculptures, eat potato donuts, and revel in the glory of our agricultural heritage. But we don’t do it in summer or fall like other states. We do it in the middle of winter because we can.
7. In Pittsburgh, they have a dish called City Chicken. It’s made from pork. Why? Fuck you that’s why.
8. We really do have all those different ways to say “you”. They just depend on where you’re from. You, yinz, yous guys, y’all, etc. They’re all accepted.
9. We get it, our roads suck, the traffic sucks, you hate it here. The Schuylkill sucks, the Squirrel Hill Tunnel sucks. The PA Turnpike sucks.
Most of this shit was built in the 40’s and 50’s. You’re here for a week. We live it everyday.
Most of this shit was built in the 40’s and 50’s. You’re here for a week. We live it everyday.
10. We are not normal here. We are not okay. We gave birth to bands like Bloodhound Gang and Dead Milkmen and Antiflag. “It’s Always Sunny” isn’t a comedy to us, it’s a pastiche of our family’s home movies. Those are our cousins.
Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk and in conclusion: go fuck yourself. #GreetingsFromPennsylvania
