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The 96 year-old-woman whose Power of Attorney for Care I hold just called. Two months ago we (she also has a separate POA for property) hired caregivers to come in as daily companions because she has been so profoundly lonely while fiercely determined to continue living alone.
For months now #dementia has made it impossible for her to operate a telephone (she has an alert necklace which she wears religiously and still knows how to use, for emergencies, and a neighbour in the attached house she can call out for, but she will need 24-hour care soon).
Anyway, I was really surprised at the call because even answering the phone, much less dialling, has been hard for her (I think she fails to answer out of fear). Today she was quite lucid and obviously able to operate the phone on her own (her caregivers come in about an hour).
The fog of dementia definitely ebbs and flows, but since she has had the 8-hour-a-day companionship, her abilities have improved, and her call this morning is a clear indication of that. Our minds are social. Very few of us can thrive in abject solitude.
That's why social media exerts such a strong pull on so many of us, especially as COVID precautions and lockdowns restrict other opportunities for connection that are so important. The tragedy of social media, particularly Facebook, is the way it has abused this need.
She is also a really sad reminder of the circumstances of seniors in our society who have outlived their friends and may have no close family. COVID has now placed even more seniors in isolation. My friend *must* have practical support so the COVID risk is justified ...
But many of us are tormented trying to figure out what the best approach is with older relatives and friends who are not disabled but who desperately both want and need to see us.
