The 2020 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest for "an atrocious opening sentence to a hypothetical bad novel". Every year it makes me so incredibly happy. https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2020 
2020 Winners | The Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest

2020 Winners of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest

https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2020
AHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS CONTEST
AHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS CONTEST
AHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS CONTEST
I am sobbing with laughter please read them all and sob with laughter with me
SUE I LOVE YOU
This one though. This one. I am curled up weeping.
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