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#sakuatsu bad sex headcanons because ham is a bad influence (an ongoing cursed thread)
1. atsumu buys candles. citronella.
1a. it smells like mosquito repellent
1b. sakusa actually likes it
2. they come too fast
3. omi has 0 stamina. he falls asleep right after coming
#sakuatsu bad sex headcanons because ham is a bad influence (an ongoing cursed thread)
1. atsumu buys candles. citronella.
1a. it smells like mosquito repellent
1b. sakusa actually likes it
2. they come too fast
3. omi has 0 stamina. he falls asleep right after coming
4. they spend too much time laying out towels its almost a boner kill
4a. they move around too much so they do not even come on the towels
4b. the afterglow is always ruined by the need to change sheets
5. "talk dirty to me, miya" "i thought you didnt like dirt omikun"
4a. they move around too much so they do not even come on the towels
4b. the afterglow is always ruined by the need to change sheets
5. "talk dirty to me, miya" "i thought you didnt like dirt omikun"
6. sakusa says i love you while hes getting railed from behind
6a. multiple times
6b. on different occasions
6c. they arent dating
7. so atsumu asks him out mid-sex
6a. multiple times
6b. on different occasions
6c. they arent dating
7. so atsumu asks him out mid-sex
8. "do you have a condom omikun" "what" "a condom" "miya please i need you" "a condom omikun" "you dont have one?" "this is your apartment" "you were expecting me to have condoms onhand?" "..." "miya holy fuck if you dont get inside me right now--" "omikun, do you have a condom"
9. they attempt car sex to spice up their sex life. cars in japan are tiny as fuck. they are two six-footer-men
9a. atsumu hits his head on the car ceiling
9b. sakusa suggests to move to the backseat
9c. atsumu's giant ass hits the car horn
9d. they figure it out eventually
9a. atsumu hits his head on the car ceiling
9b. sakusa suggests to move to the backseat
9c. atsumu's giant ass hits the car horn
9d. they figure it out eventually
10. atsumu sends a dick pic
10a. sakusa replies "what's this for?"
10a. sakusa replies "what's this for?"
11. "you said food play, omikun" "i am not putting onigiri on my body"
12. atsumu: *attempts to deepthroat* *chokes* *bursts into a coughing fit* *hasnt stopped coughing for 2 mins*
13. atsumu says shyly "i kinda have a degradation kink... i like being talked down to..."
"oh"
13a. "miya, your last toss to me during practice today was too low"
"oh"
13a. "miya, your last toss to me during practice today was too low"
13b. miya comes anyway
14. "omi send me a nude"
14a. omi sends him a topless torso pic
14b. "yesss omi move the camera lower"
14c. "why would you want a photo of my feet?"
14a. omi sends him a topless torso pic
14b. "yesss omi move the camera lower"
14c. "why would you want a photo of my feet?"
15. "miya im gonna tape your mouth shut"
15a. "...i only have KT tape though"
15a. "...i only have KT tape though"
16: atsumu ties omi up, ensuring that the binds arent too tight because he values kiyoomi's safety
16a. omi's bendy wrists allows him to actually get out of the bindings
16b. he spends the night pretending hes still restrained as to not hurt atsumus feelings
16a. omi's bendy wrists allows him to actually get out of the bindings
16b. he spends the night pretending hes still restrained as to not hurt atsumus feelings
