Hades and Persephone officially win the coveted first and only prize for "Greek mythological relationship where the actual original version is significantly LESS horrifying than the common-knowledge modern retelling" -R
❌ the wicked Hades abducted Persephone and did terrible villainous things to her
❌ everything was totally fine and unproblematic actually
✅ every single person in the original homeric hymn canonically holds Zeus solely responsible for the abduction

-R
For those curious-

Hades: Zeus, my exalted brother, I have fallen in love with your daughter Persephone and seek your blessing to wed her
Zeus, internally: Demeter's gonna hate this
Zeus: absolutely bro go pick her up right now

-R
**ONE YEAR LATER**

Hermes: and that's why Demeter is killing the entire planet
Persephone:
Hades:
Hermes: so can I
Hades: YES HOLY SHIT TAKE HER BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE love you sweetie here's some fruit miss you already byeeeee

-R
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