Read on Twitter
So I’ve been largely absent from Twitter for a few months. I’ve been struggling with my mental health for a while now, largely due to personal and relationship issues.
It steadily got worse, all the time with me thinking that I could handle it
It steadily got worse, all the time with me thinking that I could handle it
Until, one night about two and a half months ago when I couldn’t sleep, I found myself writing a goodbye note to my boy, and thinking to myself where all the medication is in the house. Luckily I came to my senses, and managed to get the help that I needed
I’m not saying this for sympathy or kind words (although I’ve had many from my colleagues, friends and family), but to point out how insidious the progression was from “feeling really down but I can handle it” to “I need to write a note about what I’m going to do”
At that point, in the middle of the night, it made complete sense to do what I was doing. And that’s my main point I guess - when you’re at that point, the last thing you want to do is ask for help, because you’re sure you’re doing the right thing
So please - especially at the moment given the episode of Black Mirror that is 2020 - if the thought even crosses your mind that you might be struggling, talk to someone. Anyone. Don’t try to face it alone, because it’s very unlikely you’ll succeed
Thankfully things are getting there now - my relationship of 15 years has ended, but we’re determined to make things work for our lad, and we will. This is a Rocky road that I’ll probably have to walk for the rest of my life, but I’ll get there in the end
And unsurprisingly, everyone who I’ve told has been brilliant, especially my work colleagues. I think us medics are especially susceptible to feeling like this. So if you feel yourself slipping, talk. Please. To anyone that you trust. It will help, trust me
