It takes quite a lot of effort for the team with three riders to screw up a race from this position.

Sep Vanmarcke has just suffered his traditional mechanical, and all @deceuninck_qst have to do now is work over Ian Stannard to take the win.

Let's see how that went, shall we?

I mean, it's not difficult. There's 40 kilometres to do it in. You've just got to make sure he keeps working and not sitting on the back saving his energy.

Erm, lads?

Lads?

LADS?

To be fair, Quickstep had needed to keep the pace up to stop the chasing bunch get back on, and it's still almost impossible for them to screw up the race.

Unfortunately they're about to discover they're outnumbered by Ian Stannard.

It's not even like the tactics weren't obvious. Boonen would always beat Stannard in a sprint, so keep attacking with Terpstra and Vandenbergh whilst Boonen sits on.

Simple.

Far too simple.

Boonen attacked.

Perhaps he was distracted by the prospect of a lucrative contract for endorsing meat-based products?

I'm not going to lie. It worked about as well as anything else Quickstep had tried.

This was clearly going to require some cunning...

Terpstra immediately launches a counter attack.

This is good.

This is cunning.

Vendenbergh decides to add another layer of cunning by doing something Stannard doesn't expect.

Regrettably what Stannard wasn't expecting was to be given a convenient tow straight back onto Terpstra's wheel again. It probably worked better in Vandenbergh's fever-dream.

This move had also cooked Boonen and left him trying to chase back on, meaning Stannard was the only rider not coming back off a massive effort.

Stannard demonstrated the basic unfairness of this situation by going on the attack himself.

Vandenbergh immediately cracked and Boonen switched off to daydream about paintjobs for his new car.

Terpstra is left to deal with Stannard on his own...

Incidentally, during lockdown I think we've all learnt about the dangers of making decisions whilst stressed, tired, and facing the remorseless happiness of people who secretly enjoy all this shit.

Boonen's car turned out exactly how you'd expect.

All Terspstra has to do is sit on Stannard's wheel, refuse to lead out the sprint and use his superior acceleration to steal the win on the line.

Brain frazzled, and aware that Stannard might sense this foolproof plan, Terpstra instead attacks from miles out.

Of course he did.

The inevitable result of doing so was immediately obvious to everyone except Terpstra, who was somewhat aggrieved to find Stannard nip back around him just before the line.

Like I said. It takes a lot to screw up a race winning position like this one.

But somehow nature finds a way...

Ian Stannard announced his retirement today. For all the great moments, and in particular for this masterpiece that caused an entire team to leave their brains somewhere in a Belgian gutter, thanks. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cycling/54821989