There's a memory I'm never allowed to bring up with my best friend from high school. While I'm waiting for election results, I will tell the story to pass the time.

My friend M was set to be valedictorian of our year. She did it quietly. She was moderately active in school.

My frenemy J was set to be salutatorian. He was student body president and our most award-winning athlete. (He also took her to the prom, though they didn't date. Shrug. There were 36 kids in our graduating class.)

He snooped in everyone's files (!) and saw everyone's GPA.

He then had one of his fits of quiet, clenched anger and went to the school administration, arguing that HE should be valedictorian because even though his grades were 2nd best, he had done way more for the school.

The administration bought it. They asked M to consider it.

She was so thoroughly disgusted that she said yes just so she could walk away from it all, gagging.

He graduated as valedictorian. She went on to get a master's in education from Columbia. He became a "use of force" trainer for the Seattle police department.

In our early twenties, I asked her once if she regretted the valedictorian incident. (She was also yearbook editor! And had to do their valedictorian and salutatorian full-page spreads!)

She screamed, mumbled that she should have fought it, and asked me not to mention it ever.

I guess there is a moral. Know your rights. The valedictorian title was meant for the highest GPA holder, period. J got away with breaking that rule because he took what he wanted and no one stopped him.

Just passing time waiting for election results.