Goveller’s Travels

Thursday 5th November

As two white men in their seventies crossed catheters in a duel to the death of democracy, Brondingnag held its collective breath to learn who their new chlorinated poultry supplier would be. But with many of the chickens counted before

they were mailed in, the knuckledraggers and thimbleriggers talked of fowl play. All that was certain, was that cowardice and hatred had not been offered the resounding thumping it deserved, and the hormone-fed beef in the gland of the free, was far from over. As each

craven bootlicker stepped forward to volunteer another soul for the fire, it occurred that nothing quite begets a person like piping up for a narcissistic child-caging skidmata. I dwelt long upon the fertility of Trump’s imagination, as he claimed victory and fraud in the same

breath; but as the Mango Mussolini rejected democracy’s ornament and bulwark - the graceful transition of power – born of the long understood truth that it’s a lot easier and nicer than cousins dying in the tower or citizens dying in the streets, it became clear that this

founding principle might be nothing but veneer. If elected fools decide to denigrate the process before your eyes, then perhaps all that stands between a democracy, and everything going full Mad Max, is Andrew ‘blocked plug hole’ Neil. The self-styled Brobdingnagian disruptors,

Trump and Johnson, Kushner and Cummings, had long since committed to defying the conventions that kept us safe. The incompetent were promoted, the guilty did not resign, and the infantile compulsion to demolish the executive, legislative and judicial tenets of a Sovereignty

they feigned to adore, was embraced. In this world only the sycophants, whose honour had been the reward for the length of their tongues, the Goves, Jenricks, Hancocks and Patels prospered. And pleasant as it was for everyone to see the otherwise unemployable Liz Truss get a new

Fiat B500 on her Minister’s salary, as the species idled through the twilight hours before Armageddon with interminable discussions about London’s cycle lanes, I thought perhaps they could have hoped for more.

With many thanks to @MrJunkerBarlow for this snapshot of his lounge.