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Hi, my name is Huma and my toxic trait is that even tho I own a very nice, very expensive pair of hiking boots I love, I still end up hiking in my @rothys like a true denizen of #LadyLawTwitter. I’m in the Smokies now and will use this thread to post about it. 
I did a hike the other day, but it was a small one and I didn’t really take any pictures. I wasn’t in the right headspace. I was tense and troubled. I did enjoy the view tho! It was at Bays Mountain and cost $5 but I got in for free lmao. ANYWAY.
Election night was rough bc I drank too much and stayed up late even tho I knew nothing would happen. So I got up late and a bit hungover this morning (Nov 4) and started knocking out work shit. When I was done, I knew I needed to get outside and enjoy the day.
I found a trail with an overlook about an hour south of me I think and headed out. I have spent many weeks of my life camping in the Western Smokies but have never explored the eastern side, by Chattanooga, so this was cool.
I got there and saw a small overlook with a set of binoculars. I was wearing my Rothys and figured, why change just to go there? So I went and got a nice little view of the mountains. And some well timed mountain graffiti that I needed to see.
There was a trail, fenced and with some wooden block “steps” about a yard apart, and up I went. It climbed to a peak of about 2750 I think, but I’m not sure. Appalachian mountains, created when Africa bumped into NA, arent as tall as the Rockies by any means.
While I have lost weight during the pandemic, I think I weigh more than I did last year (or maybe less?), and I’m not pleased with my body or fitness level. I didn’t want to climb to the top, but I did it anyway. Because I’m sick of taking short cuts or just not doing the Thing.
I got to the little peak and found a lovely view. There was a bench there with all kinds of little engravings, which I found charming. I sat on it and just looked at the view as the sun inched closer to the horizon.
In the mountains, I ask myself a lot of questions that I avoid on flat land. Silly, I know. But there is something sacred and intimate and lush about the mountains. Specifically the Smokies, to me. My favorite spot in the country. So I asked myself what I really wanted.
I find when I’m brave enough to sit in the quiet and ask (no small feat for my avoidant ass!), the answers come rather easily. Like they were just waiting for me to invite them in.
So I asked and was answered. It wasn’t scary. Even tho I realized that I wasn’t happy with the general state of my life, and some things had to go. I realized that I had been allowing things I’d always sworn I never would, and that was sad to confront. A self-betrayal.
But I see a clear path forward for me. What I want is easily attainable. I just have to stop allowing things that aren’t consistent with my highest vision of myself. A path forward, and whatever stays stays and whatever falls away falls away.
It wasn’t a long, backpacking type hike. It was a small sojourn and I headed down before I lost the sun to the mountain line. And ended up blasting Taylor Swift’s “Death By a Thousand Cuts” on repeat on the winding way back, because it felt so appropriate. Tomorrow, NC, I think.
