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I wasn't born with epilepsy. My family didn't even know what it was at the time. One day my parents just found me in my cot shaking & foam coming out my mouth. As young parents at the time they were scared AF thinking their little princess is about to die.
Soon after a couple of those episodes a few months later i was then diagnosed with Epilepsy meaning i get siezures. So my type of siezures are the most common one. They are called grand mal seizures also known as tonic-clonic seizures.
What happens when i get a siezure i shake & twitch or have jerking movements that i can't control i become unconscious. I am unable to control what's happening to my body at that particular time. Usually last a few minutes. It's painful to watch trust me.
When this happens there's really not much you can do. Just simply place me to lay down on my side, remove anything that might harm me & time my siezure. If it takes longer just call for medical help. When all this subsides explain to me what happened because i will be confused.
After all this I'm usually confused. I will need about an hour or so to recover i will still feel pain & tiredness. Just let me rest & regain my strength back.
Challenges i faced
So growing up as the only child at the time. I was given everything & i mean literally EVERYTHING. Whatever i wanted i got with no hesitation. I had every toy that you can think of. Toys that every little girl wish they had. My friends would always envy me.
So growing up as the only child at the time. I was given everything & i mean literally EVERYTHING. Whatever i wanted i got with no hesitation. I had every toy that you can think of. Toys that every little girl wish they had. My friends would always envy me.
Sometimes they would come to my house & we would play with all my difference types of barbie dolls in my playroom. Yes i had a playroom something not every black child gets an opportunity to have & I'm not talking about my bedroom here.
As much as i was happy with all these nice toys i had, one thing was missing in my life. An opportunity to be able to play outside in the streets like any other child. It's not that my parents denied me that. Epilepsy did that. I was watched 24/7 everyday.
I would have 10 siezures a day back to back. My siezures were so bad that i couldn't play outside my yard. I missed out on riding bikes, playing hopscotch & just running around with my friends. Epilepsy robbed me those little things. It was painful i would usually cry.
I missed out on so many things as a little girl. My illness took away my childhood. Something i can never get back.
Fast forward to first grade i was sent to boarding school. It was a Catholic school i loved it there. A straight A student i was always top of my class. Until i collapsed, had a siezure & lost my speech. I couldn't speak at all. My parents then took me out of school.
After speech therapy & being home schooled i eventually recovered & went back. My family use to fuss over me which is understandable considering my illness. Little did i know some of my cousins hated me for being epileptic & how i was treated. "The golden girl" as they say.
At the age of 14 my mom got me into modeling which i loved. This was her way making me do something i am passionate about & gain some confidence because i had low self esteem in the beginning of high school due to the bullying i faced. I was once called shrinking brain.
When i was 16 years during school holidays i was beaten up by one of my cousins with a broomstick while having a siezure. It was no secret that I'm epileptic & my seizures are caused by many things. Stress, temperature, lack of sleep, fatigue, sadness, anger, excitement & more
In this case it was the heat. In summer my siezures become hectic i can't handle heat well. So when i was done with my siezure i had bruises on my body. I hated my cousin for beating me up.
In varsity my studies got affected. One day after writing my Media Law exam i was feeling weak & hot. It hit me I'm about to have an episode. As i rushed out i collapsed had siezures. Stress was too much & it was affecting my studies & I would have a siezure every week.
Years ago i dated a guy after he found out that i have epilepsy he dumped me. He gave me some lame reason. I later found out through my friends & his boys that he says he can't be dating a hun that has epilepsy. It hurt me so bad.
Met another guy i told him the truth from the on set. I had an episode & guess what nigga told me I'm all he wants in a lady but not with my illness & he left. It broke me. I stopped dating for the longest time. I use to think I'm not good enough.
I've always wanted a guy that's gonna understand i have epilepsy. I thought i would never find him until now. I told him the truth & his response made me realize this is the type of guy my mom would approve of. What an amazing guy. You great guy O. If you don't know now you know.
2yrs ago my own cousin told me straight to my face that she hates me because of my illness. I was shook that my own blood is saying this. It's all good now it no longer hurts.
Living with epilepsy comes with so many challenges. People often say it's really not that bad that's not true. Its horrible the anxeity, body jerks, memory loss. Not knowing when is the next one. Knowing that chances of me dying in my sleep are high. My biggest fear is SUDEP.
To those who are battling with epilepsy, keep fighting. Never give up & focus on the postive things. Don't let epilepsy define who you are. You are more than your diagnosis.
I hope this helps someone out there not to give up.
Love & Light
Love & Light
