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Head Teacher Guilt, A Thread:
I have Head Teacher Guilt. I don’t know if this is an actual thing or just a me thing, but today I realised I have always had it. I’d write a blog on it, only I don’t have a blog so that’d be pointless.
I have Head Teacher Guilt. I don’t know if this is an actual thing or just a me thing, but today I realised I have always had it. I’d write a blog on it, only I don’t have a blog so that’d be pointless.
Today I listened to part of a podcast by @Emma_Turner75 and @teacherhead (yes, just part of it because, you know, efficiency) and something clicked in my head:
I feel guilty about being anything less than stoic and gung-ho about the ever changing landscape for HTs at the moment.
I feel guilty about being anything less than stoic and gung-ho about the ever changing landscape for HTs at the moment.
The podcast talked about support for HTs and I realised that sometimes people *have* offered me support or recognition of what it’s like for a lone HT at the moment, but I have always, always brushed it off as ‘It’s ok, it’s my job’.
Except the current situation isn’t my job.
Except the current situation isn’t my job.
It is, in the sense that I am doing in day in and day out, but it’s definitely not what I signed up for.
I feel guilty complaining about anything or admitting struggling (in school, you understand, I moan all the while on Twitter
) because as a HT don’t I have it all?
I feel guilty complaining about anything or admitting struggling (in school, you understand, I moan all the while on Twitter
) because as a HT don’t I have it all?
Let’s examine the evidence:
* I earn the most in the school.
* I’m not in class all day, so don’t have the planning, prep etc
* I’m in a warm office.
* I can have a coffee and even go to the loo whenever I want!
* I actually *wanted* the job, and now I have it
* I earn the most in the school.
* I’m not in class all day, so don’t have the planning, prep etc
* I’m in a warm office.
* I can have a coffee and even go to the loo whenever I want!
* I actually *wanted* the job, and now I have it
So what on earth do I have to moan about?
Well, tbh, all the other things that aren’t on that list. But I feel guilty for grumbling about my workload or the difficulty of it, because from the outside I know it looks like I’m living my best life in the cushty job I wanted.
Well, tbh, all the other things that aren’t on that list. But I feel guilty for grumbling about my workload or the difficulty of it, because from the outside I know it looks like I’m living my best life in the cushty job I wanted.
(As an aside, when you have this ‘cushty job’ it turns out everyone is better at it than you and you don’t really know how to do it in the first place. But you can’t admit that, because you have the warm office and the unlimited toilet breaks and get paid more.)
People have often suggested to me seeking support from my CoG... but they gave me the job and probably don’t then want to hear me moaning about it or revealing that I feel I can’t cope, do they?
I mean, ‘It’s fine, it’s my job.’
I mean, ‘It’s fine, it’s my job.’
(I think they actually said something like ‘Don’t confide everything in your CoG as they will sack you for sounding insane’ 
)
)
Stop waffling, Elinor.
Essentially, I realised that the reason I don’t often seek or accept help is that I feel bad for needing it. I should know everything and be able to handle everything and keep everyone safe. Head Teacher Guilt.
In short, listen to the podcast
Essentially, I realised that the reason I don’t often seek or accept help is that I feel bad for needing it. I should know everything and be able to handle everything and keep everyone safe. Head Teacher Guilt.
In short, listen to the podcast
Start at 39mins in because, you know, efficiency https://twitter.com/teacherhead/status/1323923598118146048
https://twitter.com/teacherhead/status/1323923598118146048
