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Alright everyone, you better buckle up and put on your learnin' cap because I'm about to teach you about the Election Cyclops. THREAD//
If you weren't already aware, the Election Cyclops (or EC for short) is a measure put into place by the Founding Fathers in Article II of the US Constitution in order to equalize the electoral power of all states.
In the words of James Madison, "...there is to be a being, no less than 13 feet in height with one, bulging, bloodshot eye, stationed at every polling place in the country … This being, henceforth known as the Election Cyclops, may eat any ballots it can... "
(cont) "rendering them null and void. Once the Election Cyclops places a ballot into his great Maw, the voter can retrieve it until it is chewed beyond recognition and swallowed." Seems insane, right? But at the time, there was a reason for it - the Founding Fathers wanted...
a Democracy of the people, by the people, and for the people. And they knew that, without measures to prevent the weak and feeble from voting, power would quickly dissipate and our democracy would be the world's laughingstock.
But HOW was the Election Cyclops created? Well, in 1789, after the signing of the Constitution, Ben Franklin, using Dark Magic, electricity, and the blood of his many, many slaves, performed an ancient rite to summon and bind a being from another plane of existence.
This is how the singular Election Cyclops can exist in thousands of polling places across the country simultaneously. Through transdimensional phasing, he is able to effectively duplicate himself.
The more ballots the Election Cyclops eats, the more powerful he becomes. If, somehow, he manages to eat a majority of votes cast in an election, the EC is unbound and, according to a hidden clause of the 2nd Amendment, becomes President for Life.
A system like this has NO place in a modern democracy. Not only are we fighting voter suppression and low turnout, but also the Election Cyclops gobbling up ballots like Thanksgiving turkey? It just isn't right. Furthermore, the existence of the EC is, quite frankly, ableist.
The main victims of the EC are those who lack the faculties to adequately defend themselves and prevent their ballot from being snatched up and sucked down by the nasty monster himself. The disproportionate effect makes our democracy questionable, if not outright illegitimate.
So, the Election Cyclops is a problem. "What can I do about it?" you ask. There's a few simple steps you can take to make the change we need in this country.
1. VOTE. Do NOT let the EC undermine our democracy and prevent you from voting. Spit in his big, grotesque eye and cast your ballot for the candidates who pledge to abolish the Election Cyclops. Make your voice heard.
2. TRAIN. You must be prepared to outwit, outmaneuver, and even outfight the Election Cyclops. Although weapons are not allowed in polling places, you can still take self-defense courses specifically geared towards fighting the EC to give yourself the upper hand when voting.
3. CALL. Call your representatives in Congress. Call your senators. Call every elected official you can asking them to make an amendment to ABOLISH the Election Cyclops. Tell them that it is an unfair system and has no place in America.
4. SHARE. Share this thread with your friends and family. Raise awareness about the undemocratic institute that is the Election Cyclops. We don't have to accept it as normal anymore. We can do better.
So, that's all you need to know about the Election Cyclops. Remember the 4 steps to defeating him: Vote, train, call, and share. Stay safe out there, and good luck voting!
