Ongoing Clanlands commentary:

I’m doing a read/listen along. Mute this if you don’t give a #KrisReadsClanlands

Starting with at the beginning! Will pickup more later today, and as I also need to read Breasts and Eggs, probably only 1 chapter a day thru book club!

Audible has a great PDF, maps, pics, I shared some in my other tweet #KrisReadsClanlands
Forward by DG. Love her or hate her, she gets to the point — OL has brought many, many people together. Including these two, so I can’t wait to REALLY get rolling today. After Pilates & work

I listened THIS FAR in my car after Pilates and had to stop Borrowing imagery: ‘Visions of Thelma and Louise were dancing in my head.’ Or maybe Long Duck Dong? Instead of “Lake. Big lake.”, it was “Cliff. Big cliff.”
Will resume later today. #KrisReadsClanlands

Home, chair, listening and reading along. Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, Thelma and Louise going off a cliff!
Not even two full pages in but “looking at me with the smile of a psychopath” has already been used. #KrisReadsClanlands

#KrisReadsClanlands Lady McT clutching his handbag

#KrisReadsClanlands Graham, leaving the car park. Hey, at least it’s kinda the right era.
They’re on the road, finally.

#KrisReadsClanlands Graham: talked to Sam on set “as one of the things I immediately liked about him was his enthusiasm for such a lot of things.”

#KrisReadsClanlands Wendy, grooming Sam like “something from Best in Show,” according to Graham. I wonder if Wendy kept the Busy Bee, and who had 2 left feet?

#KrisReadsClanlands more Wendy, then I’m pausing to work on dinner. “she always has a smile and a joke for me and our bond has become very close.”

I lied! One more. Sean Connery, this week. Wow.....
But Christopher Lambert makes me think of Greystoke instead of Highlander and now I’ve got YBIMC and Tarzan Jamie on the brain

#KrisReadsClanlands Lied again. Couldn’t leave off before Caitriona’s first mentions. Not retyping all this, so quick photo of the page and my sticker-turned-bookmark. Seemed apropos

I can’t focus on Breasts & Eggs sooooo diving back into this! #KrisReadsClanlands “Fraser” not Frayzuhr
the Caitríona/contract/cast and crew passage

#KrisReadsClanlands ooh that *is* a bit harsh, Graham. But yes, kind of a ginger, if Ginger Beard counts

#KrisReadsClanlands “ENTER Duncan Lacroix” until 3am but Sam was a good boy and went to bed at 1. 7am Graham and Duncan = Sam?

#KrisReadsClanlands Duncan pretends to hitchhike. “G: shall we pick him up? S: nah

#KrisReadsClanlands Sam is a “let’s get done” type of guy. And the book edits, but Audible doesn’t.

#KrisReadsClanlands Baldilocks

#KrisReadsClanlands Love hearing Sam talk about his brother and mum and growing up at the castle, even if Graham says “You literally grew up in an animal outhouse, like some Scottish baby Jesus” Watch out for the lightning bolts, Graham

#KrisReadsClanlands A coo! Hanging from the rear view!Amazing Moooo! Sam stocked the camper at home, and the local thrift store It sounds like a rolling garage sale, can’t wait to see this in @MenInKiltsSTARZ

#KrisReadsClanlands S: “I’ve got a single malt hidden under the sink ... and, I did actually bring you a cigar...”
G: “Nice thought. I’ve never smoked....”
Sam probably thinking s’ok, more for me

#KrisReadsClanlands forfuckssake, Graham
I literally just CACKLED out loud and woke the dog and my husband

#KrisReadsClanlands Digressing with a missing OL moment I wish we got - this is the second reference I’ve read to Fr Bain and the dogs and I wish we’d seen that, but sounds like they had pre-Rollo canine issues

#KrisReadsClanlands “I wouldn’t have worn a jumper, unless I wanted Dougal MacKenzie to be sweating like a footballer in a spelling test.”

#KrisReadsClanlands aww Lady McT liked Sam right away “Sam was destined to play Jamie Fraser because he is exactly as you imagine — a thoroughly kind-hearted bloke, with a streak of insanity.” I’ll take it

#KrisReadsClanlands “It was a BMW driver. Only gentlemen drive Audis.”
“You would say that with your free Q59 Sporty Turbo E-schlong...”

#KrisReadsClanlands Sam crushing on the camper

#KrisReadsClanlands Thus endeth chapter 1. I’m going to listen to a bit more, night!!!

Chapter 2 #KrisReadsClanlands Just sharing a bit. I loved my Scottish , including Tennents

#KrisReadsClanlands More Wendy, and Golden Balls

#KrisReadsClanlands picking up where I left off 2 nights ago, Sam’s story of Sassenach.

#KrisReadsClanlands and the unicorn

#KrisReadsClanlands I dunno Graham, they all DID seem to get their bottles in February...even Josh, your new bestie

#KrisReadsClanlands Glenn....

#KrisReadsClanlands escape!!

#KrisReadsClanlands the night at Duncan’s - shared already by many but these make me laugh so when in Edinburgh, drink!
Earlier Later

#KrisReadsClanlands later later

#KrisReadsClanlands next morning

#KrisReadsClanlands “Maybe because I was watching out for her, I didn’t notice my hangover as much...”

#KrisReadsClanlands ...spot in the heather, near the River Coe. Is this this scene with the still? Can’t quite see enough to be sure!

#KrisReadsClanlands Scottish Breaking Bad It’s like Sam knew years ago.

#KrisReadsClanlands Duncan’s tips

#KrisReadsClanlands Chapter 3 Vikings and wee Sam the archaeologist

#KrisReadsClanlands omission, pre-forward. These are both beautiful. I wish they were included on the Audible file.

#KrisReadsClanlands mini historical geek out - Hadrian’s wall and rando facts. We saw a bit last year, right from the road somewhere near Corbridge Roman Town.

#KrisReadsClanlands The Picts converted to Christianity and shinty. As apparently did the part-Viking offspring left behind later. #watchthewindows

#KrisReadsClanlands listening to and reading a few more pages from Ch 3 before bed. Knew this had to come up at some point

#KrisReadsClanlands So... is this a JAMMF Scottish noise? See ~0:08 mark

#KrisReadsClanlands Reading, reading. Oh this SUCKS!!!! “I actually lost my most recent kilt, in Sassenach tartan, somewhere between Las Vegas and Mexico...” (no wonder he didn’t wear it) & he’s mentioned his dad’s kilt before. Don’t lose weight, Sam, try getting it tailored

Catching up a bit. ahead without the print so Graham has also had kilt issues, with a fan laying under his podium?! Seriously? Jesus people have some pride! Sam’s ritual of getting kilted as Jamie goes nice w/that segment of footage, if I could find it #KrisReadsClanlands

Ch5 - SH vs GMcT. Dark history, merged with unique destination. +Petty? Kayak for 2? G thwarts his plans though so S resolves to fuck w/him another day Loch Leven Burial islands, we had a beautiful view the day we were there! July 25, 2019, Scottish Summer #KrisReadsClanlands

Duncan at dinner #KrisReadsClanlands

Wendy! Love her!! #KrisReadsClanlands

Lavish McTavish and Sam footing the bIll #KrisReadsClanlands

Surprise prostate exam in the van. Sure Sam, Graham would love that, I’m sure #KrisReadsClanlands

Graham’s view of Sam #KrisReadsClanlands

Oh Glenn and Delilah are back. Goodie. #KrisReadsClanlands

Get to the chairlift, we must escape #KrisReadsClanlands

Stop shaking the chair, Sam #KrisReadsClanlands

Sam’s skied the Matterhorn, didn’t know that! #KrisReadsClanlands

Oh and gratuitous butt gif just cuz #KrisReadsClanlands

Laughing at Graham’s bad back and crankiness #KrisReadsClanlands

Chapter 7 - #KrisReadsClanlands Wolds colliding. Sam auditioned for Dominic’s role in Mamma Mia, then Dominic went on to have a mustache as Howard Stark and as Jesse in Preacher, with Graham.

#KrisReadsClanlands Camerons, fucking Mark Me, midges, and Sam’s not a cold-hearted bastard

Ch8 “Less Bear Grylls, more Teddy McTavish” Graham emerges from his grumpy & hungry. Sam ‘Orlando’ Heughan still can’t convince him the kayak But “I fart in your general direction.” is uttered 2x in quick succession. Graham’s misery was well worth it #KrisReadsClanlands

#KrisReadsClanlands G: “...what you will arrange will hurt or involve freezing cold water that will cause my testicles to retract.”
S: “And, helps with your performance as Lady Macbeth.
Ahem..”

Finally back to #clanlandsbook #krisreadsclanlands More Ch 8. Graham’s mention of Lindsay Duncan has me wanting to watch Under the Tuscan Sun or Rome, but The Crown is already TM so I don’t want to watch his Brutus atm. Loving these 2 having their little theatre talk on play.

Graham: (similar to experiences with the Ginger Nut, but for different reasons) #KrisReadsClanlands

Fiat Arsepiece #KrisReadsClanlands

Sam: We are tweedy wankers #KrisReadsClanlands

Paris (not Hilton) was my first.

Thanks for clearing THAT up, Sam. #KrisReadsClanlands

... a bit like the reversing scene in Austin Powers - a forty-seven point turn. #KrisReadsClanlands

The kind of bikes a vicar might ride in a tiny country village in the 1930s. #KrisReadsClanlands

Fiat Prostate #KrisReadsClanlands

Sam’s role in a corset gives Graham nightmarish visions but I see this #KrisReadsClanlands

Or maybe this (screenshot from a vid of Hugh Jackman doing The Boy From Oz) #KrisReadsClanlands

Taking yet another pause in #KrisReadsClanlands to start Exit West for #CBBookClub I’ve listed up into chapter 10 while cooking & doing dishes the past couple days so will post retroactively. Hoping to make a dent in Exit West before resuming our binge of Yellowstone on Peacock

Back to Ch9 Graham’s issues with wireless earbuds. Or more correctly Sam’s issues with Graham’s issues #KrisReadsClanlands

Fitting that it’s Cahonas’ #checkyerbawbaws time, given Sam’s just mashed his on the #KrisReadsClanlands

Graham thought Sam WAS an ambassador for Scotland. Nope, that’s Groundskeeper Willie #KrisReadsClanlands

This makes me happy I’ve never seen it
Young Alexander = Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Alexander the Great. I mean, I love Buffy. But that sounds, um, not so good. #KrisReadsClanlands

All the horoscope talk tonight, after seeing this, phenomenal timing #KrisReadsClanlands

Sam’s sword. Alba n’dualchas: Belonging to Scotland #KrisReadsClanlands

So Graham made a film with Clive Russell and Sam played his grandson in Outlander and my friend was also in a film with Clive last year (coming out soon) so it’s like we’ve practically besties, using the old Six Degrees thing. Right @TheKazThomas ?? #KrisReadsClanlands

Sir Ginger of the Nuts and dropping his pants. Subtle, Graham. #KrisReadsClanlands

Back to ch10, finally. So Graham js delusional about Castle Leod. And Sam’s peely-wally #krisreadsclanlands

I feel ya, Graham! I took loads of pics of old doors all over London and the Scotland But I wasn’t “stroking” them. #krisreadsclanlands

“I wonder if he’s got any cannons we could play with?” Why do I see this happening? I hope everyone they visited was well insured. #krisreadsclanlands

Lovat might have met his end at Tower Hill, but I still hear the Tube lady... “Tower Hill!!” #krisreadsclanlands

Graham has left detailed instructions for his funeral, when he is “working with MacGinger.” Probably a sound plan, Graham! #krisreadsclanlands

Fraser/Murray/a little shade at DG. Well done, Graham #krisreadsclanlands

But the next section acknowledges her contributions to tourism and preservation/revenue generation. Very true. #krisreadsclanlands

Me too, Sam, me too! #krisreadsclanlands

The shinty game is one of my absolute non-J/C favorite scenes in Outlander. Loving that Sam and Michelle set this section up. And “Scots are good at two kinds of sport”: drunk/in a pub or need to be fearless #krisreadsclanlands #watchthewindows

No sense of humor..... #krisreadsclanlands

Graham: compares Sam to “a sugar-spiked six-year-old”
What I see: #krisreadsclanlands

Another page, another nickname: the head of ginger. #krisreadsclanlands

Visiting the Prickly Thistle Graham’s beard is in good form, too. Beard #krisreadsclanlands

Sidetrack: the lovely tartans and their registry info #krisreadsclanlands

These two and
Graham: “...I had taken the precaution of charging my room. . . to his room.” #krisreadsclanlands

OMG, yes. Finally someone says what I don’t like about 107 - Jamie’s poufy hair! “If you’ve watched the episode, he resembles Liberace in a kilt.” I am under 50 but totally get it #krisreadsclanlands

Waulking the wool is the other scene that makes me crazy - they slap their hands in the pee but don’t roll up their sleeves. Yeesh, it’s not like laundry was convenient to do. Hope the current day group isn’t quite as realistic #krisreadsclanlands

Slang time! Head up the ass is cross-cultural. And WHY didnt they get Wendy to read her Wisdom of Wendy section??? #krisreadsclanlands

Chapter 11. Finally. Loch Ness #KrisReadsClanlands Getting a bit in before adulting... love the Top Gear imagery also: #poorgraham

The monster... knew it had to come up at least once. I mean, Claire even met it. I sort of spotted it, but I guess the boat that passed Urquhart Castle scared it away, then they posed with a very similar background #KrisReadsClanlands

Sam isn’t so proud of the Steiner photos of Wee School Sam. Aww they’re cute. We loved them #KrisReadsClanlands I’ll be nice and not tweet all them. Wee Sam, grown Sam, nice to see both!

Time for for Mama Chrissie. I’ve said it before. #KrisReadsClanlands Job well done!

#KrisReadsClanlands the ‘try before you buy’ coffin is kinda creeping me out

*lunch hiatus over* Ron’s bday story (see throwback photo from Marina’s Twitter) and a Big Ginge (as opposed to Sophie as Wee Ginge) story about Sam’s real granddad “Ginge”. Definitely making me love the fact that Sam’s Jamie is Grandda to his minime Jemmy #KrisReadsClanlands

Love the little differences between the Audible and print versions #KrisReadsClanlands

I hear ya on the coke bottles, Sam... and also not knowing my grandpa’s real name, only the nickname #KrisReadsClanlands

First Light is on my viewing list & the stories about Ginge remind me of a cross between my dad & his uncles. Plus his friend was involved in Peter Sellers’ radios shows. I need to ask for details, can’t remember! Gary Lewis’ name = picturing this scene #KrisReadsClanlands

#KrisReadsClanlands tangent: is it wrong that I want a Gary Lewis hug, but from Sam? No??

Outlander tidbits: Gary Lewis used raunchy humor to make Graham and Aislin (Letitia/Marianne’s mom in Normal People) laugh when not directly on camera, and rather than practice his Gaelic, he’d recite Whisky brands #KrisReadsClanlands

REALLY should have counted all these. Nickname number ?? “Old Russet-Top” #KrisReadsClanlands

I’ll just let Graham’s words stand for themselves. No improving on perfection #KrisReadsClanlands

Graham in a rowboat is his usual neurotically scared mess, Sam and Gary fuck with him, meanwhile I looooved Urquhart so here’s a few pics #KrisReadsClanlands Sam also seems to really enjoy using “cox” repeatedly in this section. Can’t be just the phonetics, can it?!

The Ginger Merkin



#KrisReadsClanlands

So sweet #KrisReadsClanlands

Loch Ness wrap up video from Sam’s insta, September 15, 2019 #KrisReadsClanlands

For the record: WORST thing I’ve ever done is rode a tandem bike. In front it’s too much responsibility & in back you have ZERO control. Or visibility if you’re smaller than the front. Mind you I’ve ziplined, love rollercoasters, & gave birth w/o an epidural #KrisReadsClanlands

Ch 12 A Bicycle Made for Two
Now I need to watch 213 to see if I can spot C starting to laugh #krisreadsclanlands

Not THE death scene, but another good one. #KrisReadsClanlands

Really? #KrisReadsClanlands Sam, that’s not quite true - we all saw Caitríona stitch a bit too deeply in the season 1 outtakes

To be accurate, he’s nine-to-twelve year old, Graham #KrisReadsClanlands

Don’t really need to read about Hawaiian tiger sharks on my downtime Daughter has to dive for her marine bio program, off Oahu #KrisReadsClanlands

Having no grip on your boots during a fight scene in the dark in a bog is far from ideal. #KrisReadsClanlands

Graham saves Sam #KrisReadsClanlands

Kayaks are safer than tractor cranes #KrisReadsClanlands

The “fecking Fiat whatever” another difference between print and audio #KrisReadsClanlands

I REALLY wish they had Wendy do some of her audio. “Go oan, an goes it a whirl, big man!” Is something I NEED to hear are u listening @SamHeughan ? Please get us some Wendy audio, even if only in an instastory #KrisReadsClanlands

The Ben Lui hike with OL cast (2019) followed by Easter kinder eggs #KrisReadsClanlands

This is all we need here #KrisReadsClanlands

Graham has fonder memories of the torture museum in Prague than he does of the bike #KrisReadsClanlands

Ooof! #KrisReadsClanlands

Oh grumble grumble #KrisReadsClanlands

Twit, tit, you say tomato, I say tomahto #KrisReadsClanlands

Graham’s food truck Elevenses #KrisReadsClanlands

Ah, this is the Caitriona breakfast section! #KrisReadsClanlands

Omg I thought it was a joke. The same poached egg and for breakfast every day. She’s a saint #KrisReadsClanlands

Ha! #KrisReadsClanlands

“...only so many protein bars a man can eat (unless they’re Sam)”, you say? #KrisReadsClanlands https://twitter.com/kristinaw66/status/1263165764120514561

Isn’t that the point of a castle, after all? #KrisReadsClanlands

Great, now I’m seeing Graham and Duncan #KrisReadsClanlands

Oh. Duh. It seriously never occurred to me that UK Monopoly doesn’t have Boardwalk and Park Place #KrisReadsClanlands

Just post-Festivus, The Grievances of Graham, by Graham. 4 pages of them. #KrisReadsClanlands I call them c***ts. By the way, I LOVE number 19!

#KrisReadsClanlands My update: almost 77% done.

Ch 13-Culloden. Before Sam reads, I was truly impressed with the Culloden visitors center & battlefield. I’ve seen Gettysburg & don’t recall the set up being as compelling. The simultaneous display of Scottish & English history (+ continental war) was amazing. #KrisReadsClanlands

Flame-haired bawbag
Now Graham, be nice #KrisReadsClanlands

Is blaming the French still allowed? Depends on how Garance, Cesar, and Roman feel! #KrisReadsClanlands

Some of the clan stones, in very different weather than Sam wrote of for his first viewing. #KrisReadsClanlands

Hmm, I wonder if Sam WOULD have helped him pull on a wetsuit? #KrisReadsClanlands

At least we now know where this is from #KrisReadsClanlands

War cry in the rain #KrisReadsClanlands

This is the best description they could have written: “dispirited amidst the monumental cock-up before the impending slaughter.” #KrisReadsClanlands

Exactly what I thought, Sam. JAMMF had nothing on Charles’ name. We’ll just call him CELJCSSMS #KrisReadsClanlands

Sorry - taking a Bridgerton break - will come back to this

Back to #KrisReadsClanlands continuing Chapter 13, Culloden. Battle layout from my souvenir book.

Interesting that Graham reads the “recruitment” methods of the Scots, given Dougal’s actions in 209 #KrisReadsClanlands

Nope, no thanks... #KrisReadsClanlands

Graham’s McTavish ancestors fought with energetic, ginger-haired lunatics. At least in his imagination. #KrisReadsClanlands

Somehow I can oh-so-easily picture this taking place “fleecy” #KrisReadsClanlands

I had NO IDEA about this. 301 is probably my top choice for most technically-perfect episode, it’s a masterpiece. But if BJR lived?? (And now I wonder about the difference in Sam’s takes - I love the raspy, dying Jamie that we got. What exactly did we lose???) #KrisReadsClanlands

Grant is so damn good in 301. Love hearing Sam praise him, too. Season 3 ‘separation’ eps get a raw deal. I love them, seeing both S & C play their separate halves of one whole & never forgetting or letting us forget that the other is still w/them at heart. #KrisReadsClanlands

Gen. Wolfe & Quebec factor into LJG’s stories, and there is Simon Fraser overlap with ECHO, since Sam and Graham bring Wolfe into the narrative, while talking about Scots (in this case Frasers) who made their way into the British Army after Culloden. #KrisReadsClanlands

Way too much incest in history... I loved Sam’s tone when reading that particular line. wtf was WRONG with those people? #KrisReadsClanlands

The chapter concludes with an ode to bagpipes by Alasdair Mac Mhaighstir Alasdair which sent me on a several book Kindle search. I wasn’t hallucinating. MOBY’s Ode to an Excellent Penis was by the same author: Prince Charlie’s Gaelic Tutor #KrisReadsClanlands

From Ch14 on I now want to finish ASAP so my Goodreads can honestly reflect Clanlands on my 2020 list! I won’t tweet before I’m done unless it’s something I NEED to share. #KrisReadsClanlands

Part of Graham’s acknowledgements and a rowboat photo

Gotta do it. Graham in the sidecar. (Really wanted Baby Herman from Roger Rabbit, but couldn’t find. Stroller GIF!) #KrisReadsClanlands

An accident had to happen, after all the near misses. Glad all’s well that ends well #KrisReadsClanlands

Sam #KrisReadsClanlands

Well done, boys. Very well done. #KrisReadsClanlands