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“I had a great experience so clearly I should largely advocate for something that goes so colossally wrong 99% of the time.”
story time, binches.
story time, binches.
Apologies to everyone who thinks I’m an oversharer (I am) if you’re one of them pls scroll past thank u love u.
I got married only about half a year into the relationship, we were already sort of living together, we felt we knew each other well (lol), we had support, and I don’t just mean morally, from my family and there was really honestly no reason not to? Wrong.
Fast forward to now, I’m a single mum whose life is on hold (not complaining at all, things can wait, this is where I’m needed right now and I’m happy to be it) but... it’s tough.
I didn’t grow into this role. My skin didn’t shed organically. It was ripped off me my dudes.
This isn’t to say that things aren’t okay now, we co-parent as best as we can, we do our best. But reaching this point wasnt easy, it took so much from both of us. It still isn’t easy. probably because this isn’t how it should be.
Your literal age when you get married probably has very little to do with it, but it’s always good to really know a person before you make a lifelong commitment. Things you want can change, you can and will change, best do it with someone who’ll love you even more for it.
financial stability, family planning, your own space, this is all SO important when you decide to get married. But for me, I really just boils down to having each other’s backs.
How much you respect (yes, not love) them enough to see a commitment through. Especially in circumstances where things go way off plan, like a surprise baby. Pls don’t @ me with why didn’t I terminate, I have my reasons just like you yours.
no ones going to be tolerable every single day. you won’t even like each other on some days. Some days you’ll probably even like someone else haha.
So ya. Get married. Get married young, do it old, do it with all your baggage. But only if you’re truly ready to see it through.
If I had done that, I probably wouldn’t be here with a small child, still wanting the same kind of solace everyone else wants from a partner, but unable to do so because single mothers lmao really get the shit end of the stick.
It’ll take me a good while to figure out how to ask for the same commitment from someone else when it’s not just me in this picture anymore. But these worries are for a different day. 
just wanna add that a lot of people asked us to “communicate” when we got married. lemme tell ya folks, this ain’t it.
listen. comprehend.
listen. comprehend.
