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FPL STATS OF SHITHOUSERY ππππ πππ‘π
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW VII
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Who makes the pile of excrement this week? Who needs to stand on the naughty mat and think about what they've done?
Let's dive in. Again.
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW VII
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Who makes the pile of excrement this week? Who needs to stand on the naughty mat and think about what they've done?
Let's dive in. Again.
Martinez β 4.8 β AVL
The most popular keeper in the game has now conceded 7 goals in 3 matches. He didnβt even make a save on Sunday. He just stood there, like a statue waiting to be torn down as his team showed the set piece acumen of Blockbuster Video.
The most popular keeper in the game has now conceded 7 goals in 3 matches. He didnβt even make a save on Sunday. He just stood there, like a statue waiting to be torn down as his team showed the set piece acumen of Blockbuster Video.
Stephens β 4.8 β SOU
Coming on at half time with your team 3-0 up. It doesnβt get much easier than that does it. Wrong. Enter Jack Stephens, who misplaced a farcical 9 of his 18 attempted passes and allowed Grealish to run riot for lols. Bring back Yoshida.
Coming on at half time with your team 3-0 up. It doesnβt get much easier than that does it. Wrong. Enter Jack Stephens, who misplaced a farcical 9 of his 18 attempted passes and allowed Grealish to run riot for lols. Bring back Yoshida.
Cash β 5.0 β AVL
Completing the horror show of defensive performances from this match, Cash won a single header, completed just 66% of his passes and didnβt make a single clearance or block. He then punched the ball to let JWP score.
Bellend.
Completing the horror show of defensive performances from this match, Cash won a single header, completed just 66% of his passes and didnβt make a single clearance or block. He then punched the ball to let JWP score.
Bellend.
Koch β 4.5 β LEE
A performance as virile as the night after a vasectomy, this was less Koch and more balls from Leeds United, who saw their centre back give away a goal from the off and then generally defend with the skill of a 2 year old boy trying to aim his pee.
A performance as virile as the night after a vasectomy, this was less Koch and more balls from Leeds United, who saw their centre back give away a goal from the off and then generally defend with the skill of a 2 year old boy trying to aim his pee.
Long β 4.5 β BUR
Burnley are in trouble. Without Ben Mee theyβre like a ship without an anchor, drifting inexorably towards iceberg after iceberg. They donβt score, they canβt keep clean sheets. Theyβre just sort ofβ¦ there.
Like vomit on a pavement that nobody is cleaning up
Burnley are in trouble. Without Ben Mee theyβre like a ship without an anchor, drifting inexorably towards iceberg after iceberg. They donβt score, they canβt keep clean sheets. Theyβre just sort ofβ¦ there.
Like vomit on a pavement that nobody is cleaning up
Sigurdsson β 6.8 β EVE
Fading faster than the Arctic Ice Sheet, the Icelandic international is now a shadow of his former self. Like a haunting spectre where once stood a solid mass, Siggy still gets in the zones, he just doesnβt seen to know what to do with it anymore.
Fading faster than the Arctic Ice Sheet, the Icelandic international is now a shadow of his former self. Like a haunting spectre where once stood a solid mass, Siggy still gets in the zones, he just doesnβt seen to know what to do with it anymore.
Fernandes β 10.5 β MUN
Pogba was probably more actively bad, but we all know heβs an overpaid fuckwit by now who needs to piss off abroad and burn his Utd shirt. But the decline of Fernandes this season is killing Utd as a creative force.
Pogba was probably more actively bad, but we all know heβs an overpaid fuckwit by now who needs to piss off abroad and burn his Utd shirt. But the decline of Fernandes this season is killing Utd as a creative force.
This Sunday he never got near the box, let alone in it, and created just a single chance. Ole has no idea how to set his team up anymore, picking players and formations at apparent random and hoping they work. Utd are an absolute mess.
And still⦠still⦠Poch is out there.
And still⦠still⦠Poch is out there.
Trossard β 6.0 β BHA
Trossard and Brighton were creating chances at will. But then @KylieFpl bought him.
First 3 games v his last 3 games.
Shots β 8 v 4
Crosses β 14 v 7
Chances Created β 7 v 3
Big Chances β 2 v 0
Sell him woman.
Trossard and Brighton were creating chances at will. But then @KylieFpl bought him.
First 3 games v his last 3 games.
Shots β 8 v 4
Crosses β 14 v 7
Chances Created β 7 v 3
Big Chances β 2 v 0
Sell him woman.
Zaha β 7.3 β CRY
In fine form this campaign, this was a particularly horrible performance from Zaha. The Ivorian/English forward failed to complete a single dribble, created knack all and was lucky to stay on the pitch for lashing out when falling over.
Like a petulant child.
In fine form this campaign, this was a particularly horrible performance from Zaha. The Ivorian/English forward failed to complete a single dribble, created knack all and was lucky to stay on the pitch for lashing out when falling over.
Like a petulant child.
Pereira β 6.0 β WBA
Billed as the key creator in the West Brom attack, Pereira did none of that against the might of Fulham. Indeed he has only created 10 chances all season, which is less than McGinn, Townsend, Cairney, Lundstram, Neto, Harrison & March.
What⦠is he exactly?
Billed as the key creator in the West Brom attack, Pereira did none of that against the might of Fulham. Indeed he has only created 10 chances all season, which is less than McGinn, Townsend, Cairney, Lundstram, Neto, Harrison & March.
What⦠is he exactly?
THE ENTIRE BURNLEY ATTACK
The Clarets have scored 1 goal in 5 matches. They have had 44 chances in that time (more than Arsenal & Leicester) but just 12 on target.
They a shooting worse than a rigged gun at a shit fairground attraction.
Barnes
? As if...
HM
The Clarets have scored 1 goal in 5 matches. They have had 44 chances in that time (more than Arsenal & Leicester) but just 12 on target.
They a shooting worse than a rigged gun at a shit fairground attraction.
Barnes
? As if...HM
