the problem I'm coming up against in this nieyao fic is that meng yao is great at taking people apart but he cannot for the life of him help put someone back together

modern AU dom meng yao, used to fetlife randos, thinks aftercare is just soothing noises while you rub lotion on the sub's bruises, bring water & granola & send them home to people who really care about them
until MY has a subby boyfriend– suddenly *he* is People Who Really Care

and meng yao– isn't a bad dom, right? he always laid out the terms and followed them clearly, he only hurts people in ways that they agreed on beforehand and does what is requested of him afterwards, he gives GREAT cuddle, highly recommended
and yet... his boyfriend is sad???

he's just down, and isn't hungry, and doesn't *want* cuddles or lotion but he gets antsy when meng yao's too far off
meng yao's already scant box of Ways To Show Care is empty
and nobody else will do it for him
meng yao has a responsibility here, he realizes with dawning horror

in theory, yes, d/s is mutual exchanges of trust and dialogue
but in practice, if you're good at being the dom people want you to be & you don't push limits & you have no relationship to damage, you can avoid Talking About It or ever admitting you have needs or fears for years

meng yao, it transpires, has a relationship
meng yao needs figure out whether this is just generic sub drop or something actually went wrong
meng yao loves his boyfriend, and the lease they have ten months left on, and his favorite coping mechanism is not going to help him here

meng yao sits near his boyfriend but far enough they aren't touching, and takes several deep breaths, and says, "is anything wrong?"
nmj frowns. nmj's frowning a lot tonight. "why would it be?"
meng yao forcibly reminds himself that he is Being Open and Learning To Communicate

"well," meng yao says, "you're normally more tactile and, verbal, so. That is."
nmj is still frowning. still doesn't get it
time to rip the bandage off. "I feel like I did something wrong tonight and I don't know how to help you," meng yao says, and wills the couch to swallow him

"oh," nmj says
"ohhhhh," nmj says
maybe, if the couch won't eat meng yao, he can just wither into dust
finally, nmj speaks. "tonight was– a lot of ropes, a lot of sensation," he says. "not bad, but. a lot. I'm full up on touch for the day, and you kept trying to cuddle"

"you like cuddling!" meng yao says. "I wouldn't do it if you didn't like it!"
"I /normally/ like cuddling," nmj corrects him
"but you got mad when I gave you more space," says meng yao
"because you were GONE," nmj snaps

"so," meng yao says, "you need me here in the room, but you don't want me to touch you"
nmj thinks it through. "yes," he says
"am I close enough?" meng yao asks
"yeah," nmj says, in the way where he's mad that he doesn't have anything to be mad at

meng yao flicks through their movie collection. "then I'm gonna stay here, and we're going to watch Furiosa take her polycule on the world's worst road trip, and I won't touch you at all. okay?"
nmj squints suspiciously. "okay," he says

the tension doesn't all leave at once, but nie mingjue's a sucker for well-done stunts and practical effects
by the time the rig gets towed out of the swamp nmj's mood is gone
meng yao doesn't care either way about pyrotechnics but it's nice to see nmj enjoying things

nie mingjue catches meng yao's eye as the credits roll
"that took a lot out of you," nmj says quietly
meng yao allows himself 3 seconds to contemplate fleeing to Barbados and starting a new life where nobody will ever perceive his weird hangups
"it did," meng yao admits

"it helped," nie mingjue says. "a lot"
"I'm glad," says meng yao
"I– didn't know I needed that, until you said something," nmj says
that's good. meng yao likes being needed
nmj shifts in his chair. "so what I'm wondering now," he says, "is how do I give you what *you* need?"

meng yao's brain is temporarily closed for repairs
please leave your name, number, and the personal issues he was really hoping he could keep buried for another year or two after the beep, and he'll get back to you as soon as he can

meng yao makes a nervy joke about enough communicating for one night
nie mingjue gives meng yao a look that says he's letting it go *for now,* and then he gets up to do dishes & the moment's over
but they do come back to meng yao's issues, eventually
they're gonna make this work