Reasons I'm laughing while reading Clanlands: a thread you can mute. #Clanlands

#clanlands "a bad place to put a pipe"

#Clanlands "Baldilocks"

#Clanlands "like some Scottish baby Jesus"

#Clanlands "It's like a crap remake of *Speed*"

#Clanlands "FFS, Graham" (re: always snacking)

#Clanlands "a thoroughly kind-hearted blond, with a streak of insanity"

#Clanlands "Your free 059 Sporty Turbo E-schlong"

Detour #Clanlands - mentions Isle of Harris gin and it's still one I want to try based on @SnarkyTwin's glowing review.

#Clanlands "this is a man who knows his shit" (re: Sam & whisky)

#Clanlands "pigeon-toed alpaca"

#Clanlands "booze bubble" & "Scottish *Breaking Bad*" in the same sentence

#Clanlands **bookmarks Sassenach Highball recipe for use later tonight**

#Clanlands (me: sniggers) "I fear Diana was not best pleased"

#Clanlands "wore his kilt like a Mary Quant miniskirt"

#Clanlands "me, Stephen, Duncan Lacroix and Sam all in tartan minis prancing around like Scottishvm Harajuku boys"

#Clanlands "Oh dear Lord. Make it stop."

#Clanlands "trusty grey companion...definitely still moaning about me starting off with the handbrake on again."

#Clanlands "looks as if he's about to have a Meg Ryan moment"

#Ckanlands "I'm not getting in a kayak with a ginger hulk who can barely handle a manual motor vehicle on dry land"

Back after a bit of a break
#Clanlands "You could rely on him in an avalanche...Only to find out later he's caused it in the first place."

#Clanlands "like a gazelle in Gore-Tex"

#Clanlands "I fart in your general direction"

My favorite yet! #MontyPython #Spamalot

#Clanlands "beaming like a lobotomised psychiatric patient"

#Clanlands Various names they use on each other:
Ginger Nut, Mountain Goat, Lady M, Teddy McTavish, Grey Dog, Muscular Springer Spaniel, Ginger Hulk, Ginger salamander - and that's only 6 chapters in!

#Clanlands "Sam speaks 'marathon,' I speak 'latte.'"

#Clanlands "We are tweedy wankers."

#Clanlands "I wouldn't be surprised if I received a telegram or carrier pigeon from him one of these days, telling me to 'Fu*k of'."

#Clanlands Let's not forget the names Graham slings at the RV: Fiat Fallacious, Fiat Turd, Fiat Arsepiece, Fiat Colon, Fiat Prostate, Fiat Farce, Fiat Fiasco

#Clanlands "Sir Ginger of the Nuts barely went a day without dropping his pants on set."

#Clanlands "running around like a sugar-spiked six-year-old"

#Clanlands "the ginger Duracell bunny...he's like Lord Flshheart on speed."

#Clanlands "it was the midget Viking from the village that snuck onto the longboat"

#Clanlands "traversing the heather like a kilted goat"

#Clanlands "Old Russet-Top is meanwhile posing like a Barbour model for a country lifestyle magazine...jutting his jaw like Keira Knightley"

#Clanlands "Graham: Stroke, stroke.
Gary & Sam: Stroke who?!
Graham: I'm going to have one!"

#Clanlands "For the love of God, now there are two of these maniacs!"

#Clanlands "At that moment the Ginger Merkin tries to tip me out...the nine-year-old lunatic is back to practical joking"

#Clanlands "Kayaking is not the problem. Sam Heughan is the problem"

#Clanlands "the key thing you have to understand about Sam is that he is a non-year-old masquerading in adult clothing."