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Cast Members, here's your handy voting guide! These are only suggestions, but failure to act accordingly could result in termination and trial for treason.
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
Please vote:
NO on the Birdbath Bill, which will place birdbaths around the community and attract birds and there will be all these birds and just no.
#ParkVotes
NO on the Birdbath Bill, which will place birdbaths around the community and attract birds and there will be all these birds and just no.
#ParkVotes
YES on the High-Risk Fracking Resolution, which will include 38 new fracking locations in the park. And the demolition of 11 rides.
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
NO on Amendment 6, which classifies theme park employees as "fully functioning adult humans with free will."
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
YES on the Clean Water Act, which will allow us to advertise the park as "being located in a state that passed a Clean Water Act."
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
NO on HB-21, because we don't need FEDERAL INSPECTORS from BIG BROTHER going around VIOLATING OUR PRIVACY to see if our FRENCH FRIES GIVE PEOPLE THE SHITS.
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
YES on Resolution 8, which makes all Princess characters immune from prosecution.
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
NO on the State Exchange Health Act, because the government should not provide you with the health insurance we already don't provide you.
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
Gaylord Zerk (Free Soil Party) for Mayor. He will bring change and reform and a new sense of hope to the office he's occupied for 24 years.
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
Cap Smeffler (Anti-Masonic Party) for City Council. He's a pro-labor candidate who will make workers' lives easier by replacing them with robots.
Tabitha Worbley (Constitutional Union Party) for Agriculture Commissioner. She is committed to letting us FINALLY CUT DOWN THAT GODDAMN TREE
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
Be sure to vote tomorrow! Even though we're not giving you any time off!
#ParkVotes
#ParkVotes
