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Very few topics I feel uniquely qualified to talk about, but friendship is one of them. One of the best & richest things in my life is the friendships I have, both in breadth and depth.
Love my Twitter friends, but a few things I found with offline crews that have helped:
Love my Twitter friends, but a few things I found with offline crews that have helped:
1) Invite people to events even if you know they can't come. Don't make them feel bad about it, but make em feel included!
2) Text people when something makes you think of them. Inside jokes. Acts of compassion. Memories.
2) Text people when something makes you think of them. Inside jokes. Acts of compassion. Memories.
3) When someone suggests getting together, plan it then and there - immediately. Get it on the calendar. And confirm with them the day before you meet.
4) Friendship requires sacrifice. Be willing to be the first to share. It's hard.
4) Friendship requires sacrifice. Be willing to be the first to share. It's hard.
5) Sometimes you may be the one to reach out first, consistently! That's ok! It doesn't (necessarily) mean others don't want to be friends. Some people are bad at planning things. Some people are afraid of rejection. Some people forget if others aren't there.
5b) You may want to be friends more than someone else, but that's ok! It won't always be 50/50. Boundaries and all, and relationships change, but it's ok to be the initiator.
6) Lots of people want to go to events; few want to plan it. Be willing to do the hard part! Facilitate
6) Lots of people want to go to events; few want to plan it. Be willing to do the hard part! Facilitate
6b) Creating events gives people a chance to meet others. And that's great! No idea who you'll meet or where.
5/6c) Do goofy things; find time to hit the serious stuff. Know what's happening in the day-to-day and also big picture.
5/6c) Do goofy things; find time to hit the serious stuff. Know what's happening in the day-to-day and also big picture.
7) With other guys, go do stuff. Sports. Fish. Go-karts.
8) I work a lot with dudes younger than me. I think a lot about what @drantbradley says and with/out knowing dudes homes lives, make it a goal to tell them I love them and I'm proud of them.
8) I work a lot with dudes younger than me. I think a lot about what @drantbradley says and with/out knowing dudes homes lives, make it a goal to tell them I love them and I'm proud of them.
9) Be quick to encourage people and speak highly of them! Pray for your friends. Text them what's great about them. Find others to tell people to emulate! Pick up on their qualities!
10) People are complex. Find something in common.
11) Celebrate together! Small & Big Things!
10) People are complex. Find something in common.
11) Celebrate together! Small & Big Things!
A lot of people I could tag and surely will at some point to rave about how fantastic they are, but I've found these to be small, practical steps to building friendships that are deep and run wide. They're a lot of work - esp. as an adult!
But they are invaluable too
But they are invaluable too
