You graduate. You figure it shouldn't be hard finding a job with a "first class"

You send applications, you wait

You activate your networks, 3 people tell you, too bad you don't have CPA, talk to me when you have at least Part I

You are broke, but you enrol

You do odd jobs: IEBC clerk, online writing, insurance sales

One application is answred: "management trainee" 45K a month

You get it after 3 aptitude tests and 5 interviews

You quickly realize there is nothing management or trainee about it. It's work

HELB sniffs your newfound economic province, they send your employer a terse letter

Alas, all other "management trainees" have a Masters, so you enrol, as for the fees, God will make a way

Between work, school, dating and Twitter, you are always exhausted

CPA results come out. You call the guy who told you to get it. He says his company is downsizing. There is a freeze on hiring

You continue excelling at your job. Quite literally because your work is primarily feeding data into excel-like sheets

You get confirmed. Salary is 80K. Pensionable. You are thrilled. You text your girlfriend

You move to Ruaka. Your girlfriend gets pregnant. You are incredulous. But you take it like a man

The kid is coming. Thank God you have health insurance. Births are extortionist in this Nairobi

You need a car - for taking the baby to clinics - you say. You take out a car loan. You buy a Golf. Payments are 28,246.55 per month. Manageable. You say

The baby comes. Emergency CS. The bill overshoots limit by 43K. But a baby is a blessing. And your mother couldn't be happier

You quickly discover how ridiculously expensive diapers are. But changing them is always a good sign. It only means the baby is feeding

A few things are needed for the house. A bigger fridge, sofas, and a good TV. It will take a small loan, but it's worth it. Your (now) wife reminds you that friend and foe will be visiting "too see the baby"

Cashflow is getting tight. You are taking it like a man - with a little clandestine help from Tala

Your wife's company sends her a letter. "Redundancy notice"

It dawns your salary will not sustain the family. You need a side hustle. You take out another loan, and venture into farming

You are stressed out. After taxes and loans and rent, you have exactly 6,254 left.

You are paranoid. Irritable. Your wife says the baby needs "baby friendly vaccines". Not covered by insurance, you say.

It doesn't matter. She says.

You blow a fuse. A cold war is waged. You relent. Against your better judgement. You will do anything for your baby

Your farming venture starts off well. So well that it gobbles up all the money you had. Greenhouses aren't cheap. But it will pay back in 4 months. Except, it doesn't. It goes tits up

It's appraisal time. You are nervous, but your boss easily gives you a pass. You suspect it's because he sends you to fetch his lunch. He is reciprocating

You get a raise. It's not much, but it's a raise. You don't mention it to your wife. You haven't spoken in days anyway

There is a Harambee at your village church. You've been asked to be the 'guest of honor'. You want to scream No. Instead, you smile and say it's fine.

A few people also task you with finding employment for their children at your "big company". You tell them to get CPA

You feel an inexplicable sadness. A nagging tiredess. You google "signs of depression"

You are neck deep in debt. Your feet barely touching the sand. You are suspended in the water. Desperate. Quickly losing grip of your life

Your mother is pestering you to get another baby. She can't believe you eat all that money just the three of you.

Your Golf develops problems. You buy a new gearbox. It's installed. The mech calls you. He says the bad gearbox had damaged other things. Ongeza 50K boss

You increasingly hate your job. You wake up nauseous on Mondays.

You read some books, and get into forex trading. It goes very well with a demo account. You draft a resignation letter and save it in your computer

You fund your trading account - with a credit card. You trade conservatively for 2 weeks. You make a token profit. You pile up on a big trade. It's a sure one. You move your stops. Then you do away with them. The losses grow. Margin call. You lose your account

Somehow, you get promoted. You can't believe you will do this for the rest of your life. You often want to cry, but you take it like a man

Two kids now, and thank God the wife has a new job

You are on the cusp of 30 years. People think you are happy. And successful. You are grateful your kids have never missed a meal. Though the fridge was totally empty on some days.

One is going to baby school now. You worry if in a few years, they will be proud of you as a father