My first boss in the army looked at me dissaprovingly, and told me to get on the floor and push. Before ever introducing myself, I was at his boots. This might have lasted for a few minutes. I could feel his authority relishing in this. And when he called me to attention-

-his face broke into a smile and said it was just a joke. The glint of toxic masculinity rolling in his eyes had been filmed to memory. This happened about six years ago, but I distinctly remember it as the moment I was being trained to shut up and know my place like a dog.