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just kinda general thoughts too like... i am not immune to discourse either, it's v easy to slip into that kinda mindset and behavior, you get a thrill out of feeling self-righteous and it's esp appealing if you have mental health issues, it makes you feel better.
and there are prob some high-minded ppl among us who never gossip, but i am not one of them, and i don't think it's a sign of an abnormally toxic mind to every so often go "wow did you see what this dude said, i think that's bananapants" to your friends. can be productive even!
i have a lot of thoughtful conversations abt why i feel certain ways abt other ppl's opinions abt stuff that wouldn't rly be productive to have w the person in question but help me clarify and understand my OWN thoughts/feelings/beliefs. imo that's normal and good.
but i also try to ask myself how OFTEN i am being negative or critical, and if i'm approaching conversations w others the way i'd want to be approached or if i'm just trying to score points off ppl. i try to balance the negativity or critical talk w positive, fun, pleasant talk.
if my last 3 convos w someone have been abt how someone else sucks, then it's time to talk abt a character or media we both like, or recent projects, or smthng nice that's gone on in one or both of our lives, otherwise i become that exhausting friend who always hates shit.
and if i'm trying to talk to ppl, i try to talk to them how i'd want to be talked to. i can't be rude/dismissive/hostile and expect anyone to listen. i owe them basic politeness + assumption of good faith until/unless they show they don't deserve it. i get back what i give.
when i've ended up being super critical all the time, the ppl i ended up surrounded w were all super negative, super toxic, super exhausting ppl, and hating everything/picking fights didn't actually improve me as a person, it just made me tiresome.
the number one best thing i've ever done for my own mental health is just. deliberately decide to try to be positive more than negative and be aware of when/how i was being negative. hating all the time isn't somehow more mature or ideologically pure. it's just exhausting.
