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#Chronicillness people have been quarantining half their lives anyway...but seeing my friends start losing their minds because they haven't had to develop the skills of isolation like me, hits hard. My regular bits of socializing hasn't been the escape it used to be. https://twitter.com/Wicked__Vixen/status/1322919941516021760
Somehow it makes me sad and angry all at the same time. Angry bc I actually NEED them to keep it together the way I have been doing for years. And sad bc I realize I did this mostly alone often without even being believed on top of being socially isolated.
Able bodied ppl abusing their bodies w/ drugs/alcohol/unsafe sex is so reflective of exploiting everything sacred in the world. I'm jealous about how freeing that must be but I cringe at how exploitative it is to these precious gifts - the only thing we truly own.
They're so incredibly lucky and so incredibly ignorant.
Sometimes it comes across as judgemental and I can't really press how opposite it is. I would kill to be able to live at that level of able body. To be able to just take off and go. To not have to worry about every microscopic thing I eat, sleep schedules, temperatures, spoons.
And even while typing that I feel incredibly fortunate that I HAVE hacks that work for me, that I'm not in chronic pain, that I have people around me who support me, that I live in the world of Netflix and Facebook health groups and video calling. That I can walk, drink coffee.
And ironically I get the vibe I'm happier than some of the able bodied people around me because I'm gratefully nearly everyday for the things I have. I have a frame of reference for the time I couldn't walk or the time my brain stopped working or the time my legs ached everyday.
Look in the mirror. Look at all that beauty. Listen to that. Do you hear the beautiful sound of your own thoughts - all working and forming sentences. Do you feel your breath working in unison with your heart? Your entire body is working just for YOU.
However it looks or works. It's UR body. The only thing in this world u truly own and even then it's not even truly who u are. It's just the vesicle that works to be able to express ur spirit in this dimension. Illness can make it a stranger u have to get to know all over again.
But do it. Don't fight it. Don't make it an enemy. Don't abuse it. Don't neglect it. Don't talk down to it. Start all over. Learn. Listen. Keep it safe. Keep it disciplined w/ loving boundaries. Keep it away from those trying to harm it. Away from things that make it sad, tired.
