I'm hoping to get back to my long thread fic today but first yesterday I was doing yard work and thinking about Lan Wangji buying a house and moviny except he's That Asshole Neighbor how not keeps their own home in perfect shape and expects everyone else around to do the same.

And for the most part his neighbors don't face his wrath because it's a nice neighborhood. Well maintained. Everyone mows their lawns and repairs small damages and rakes their leaves. Everyone...except his asshole of a next door neighbor.

The problems start immediately when it takes this person 3 days to shovel their sidewalk after a snowfall. Within hours the path outside their homes is a treacherous icy mess and considering Lan Wangji walks to work he's got a vested interest in not breaking his neck.

When he gets home that evening he writes a pointed note, "Please shovel your walkways in a timely fashion, signed Lan Wangji, 236 Mulberry Lane." He tapes it next to the person's mailbox (mailboxes are for official postal deliveries only!) but does sneak a peek to learn who this

neighbor is - the box says their name is Wei Wuxian. So probably male, which is more than Lan Wangji knew since he's never even seen the person. Maybe they're gone for the winter? But that's unlikely, since the beat up junker car parked out front regularly comes and goes.

The walkway is eventually cleared, but not very well since it was already solid ice. That happens the next two snowfalls, too, by which time a month has passed and Lan Wangji has caught a couple glimpses of the guy.

LWJ is opting for male pronouns since the fellow does appear to be male presenting...and he's as much of a mess as his trashed car and poorly maintained property. He's always coming and going at the most random times, morning and night, weekdays and weekends.

Half the time he's barely even dressed, tugging on his coat as he slides down his frozen sidewalk even though it's super cold, a piece of toast dangling from his mouth as if he couldn't be bothered to plan enough in advance to leave himself time to eat.

A few other people come and go from the house too, and they're a study in contrasts: a woman with a BMW who's always dressed in finely cut suits, and another man who looks so much like the woman that they must be siblings, his expression always gentle, and a young child who

at least some of the time seems to be there all night - and that anyone would trust this disaster neighbor with a youngster is unconscionable - and then there's the only one who does chores, a sneering guy who always does the bare minimum but at least does SOMETHING, unlike WWX.

Watching them, Lan Wangji can't fathom the interplay between them. The woman always seems resigned. The young man is always smiling gently. The chore doer is always sneering and muttering unhappiness under his breath. And Wei Wuxian himself is a perennial mess.

All this LWJ pieces together over months - he's not spying, he's just trying to figure out how to make WWX do basic bare minimum home maintenance, and that means trying to piece together these scant clues. But he still can't figure it out - he's busy with his own job too often

and it's not like he's a snoop. At length, the snow and ice melt and the sidewalk is clear and Lan Wangji dares to hope that spring will bring more attention to the details, but he's not optimistic. It's not long before his fears are realized - when the snow melts, underneath

is a carpet of last fall's unraked leaves, and a month into spring, they're still there, causing the grass to grow in sparse patches...and those patches are all overgrown, because Wei Wuxian hasn't mowed, and sneering guy hasn't put in an appearance, and fancy lady hasn't either.

Only gentle smile guy has been around, but he seems focused on the child, not the lawn...or the sagging eave...or a window that breaks in May...or, or, or. Lan Wangji vents his irritation in increasingly rude notes. "Fix your gutter." "Mow the lawn, it looks awful!"

"You are a detriment to this entire neighborhood!" "You are damaging all of our home values." He never gets any notes back, or any acknowledgement on the rare occasions they pass on the street (he does not count WWX's crude leer as acknowledgement...LWJ knows he's good looking,

and Wei Wuxian's only positive attribute is that he is a fine looking man as well, and in other circumstances Lan Wangji might even reply to an advance, but as things are? Never.)

But the absolute bottom point is when Lan Wangji is running late one morning (unusual for him, his toilet clogged and his job allowed him an extra half hour) and happens to be outside when Wei Wuxian emerges with the child. The kid has a backpack and is scrambling to get it on

while Wei Wuxian is still getting a shirt over his head and shoving a piece of toast at the boy and then a school bus pulls up and it becomes clear...the child actually *lives there* and Wei Wuxian says, "have a great day at school, A-Yuan, uncle Wen Ning will pick you up,

and I'll see you tonight sweetie to do your bedtime okay?"

"Mhm," says the kid, looking so sad, and again, no one should let disaster human Wei Wuxisn watch a child, but it only gets worse when the kid, A-Yuan, says forlornly, "I love you, dad."

Even that only gets a hurried, "love you too, have fun at school!" And then A-Yuan is shoved on the bus and Wei Wuxian is hurrying to his own car and if he was leaving at the same time why not drive his kid to school himself and it's even more obvious that Wei Wuxian is the worst

Lan Wangji knows his level of anger isn't justifiable. He knows his own experience with an absentee dad and no mom in the picture, passed between relatives like he was a burden, colors his interpretation. But he is *furious* and it's all he can do not to go right back home and

vent his ire in a note. As it is he writes it as soon as he gets to work and stashes it in his briefcase to deliver on his way home.

"Wei Wuxian, I already knew you were a disgrace of a homeowner and a disgrace of a car owner and a disgrace of a neighbor, but today I learned

you are also a disgrace of a father. Your presence in this neighborhood is a detriment to everyone. Leave that poor child with his uncle, who actually appears to care for him, and sell your home, and use the accrued resources to better your son's life and no longer darken your

neighborhood's doorsteps. Signed, Lan Wangji."

He knows it's harsh. He knows it's rude. By the time he's walking home he's resolved not to leave it - he's clearly gone too far - except when he walks by the house, A-Yuan is sitting outside by himself, crying...the house is locked

and the car is nowhere in evidence and this kid can't be older than six and that's IT, Lan Wangji goes to the porch, offers to watch the kid ("but I'm not supposed to go with strangers!" "Don't worry, we'll stay on my front porch next door, you'll be safe") and leaves the note.

It's two hours of plying the kid with craisins and crackers and cheese before Wei Wuxian finally gets home, frantic as he takes in the situation, and at least he has the grace to be horrified and apologize that something got mixed up with Wen Ning and thank LWJ for helping.

It's the first time they've ever spoken.

Lan Wangji hopes it will be the last.

He spends the rest of the evening debating calling Child Protective Services...and finally opts not to. Instead he thinks he'll talk to the suited lady next time she puts in an appearance.

Since she's the only person who frequents the house who seems to be in anyway an actual, mature, competent adult.

Four days later, Lan Wangji is awoken in the middle of the night by the horrid grating sound of a lawn mower.

Someone is mowing their lawn. At 2 in the damn morning

And by someone, Lan Wangji doesn't even need to check to know, it must be Wei Wuxian. No one else would have the audacity coupled with the lack of respect to do such a thing. But he still looks out the window...and yep, there he is, dressed in pajama bottoms, flip-flops, and

and overly loose undershirt, an unlit cigarette caught in his teeth, his long hair caught in a messy ponytail, and Lan Wangji is just sleep-dazed enough to think...Wei Wuxian would be beautiful if he wasn't such an awful pain in the ass disaster of a neighbor.

(Gotta pause and do morning stuff, more soon hopefully...)

Enraged, exhausted - he's got to wake up in 3 hours for goodness sake! How can anyone be so rude as to mow in the middle of the night??? - LWJ storms out of his house in his pajamas and slippers, stalks up to Wei Wuxian, and glares as WWX stops mowing and shrugs sheepishly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"...mowing the lawn! Just like you asked!" He sounds so ingenious about it and that just makes it worse.

"You. Are. The. *Worst.*" replies Lan Wangji, all frigid ice and rage. He expects a smart-ass reply or dismissal.

Instead, Wei Wuxian blinks at him in the dim light, lips still spread in a grin that's more like a rictus, and his shoulders slump.

"Look, I'm doing my best," he mumbles.

"Well, it's not good enough," says Lan Wangji, as frosty as the midnight air.

And Wei Wuxian just nods and walks away, dragging the lawn mower behind him as he slumps toward his backyard. Watching his dejected departure it crosses Lan Wangji's mind that it's possible that, interpretation colored by his own background, he has gravely misjudged his neighbor.

But there's nothing he can do about it now (and he's not sure he wants to do anything about it) and so he returns to his room and gets into bed and hopes he can get another couple hours of sleep.

Outside the junker car roars to sputtering life and drives away as WWX leaves.

For the next week, Lan Wangji is super busy with a deadline and sees nothing of his neighbor or A-Yuan or suited lady or smiling man (probably Wen Ning, he thinks) and sneering guy hasn't appeared to do random chores for like two months.

LWJ stands by his resolution to talk to suit lady next time he sees her, and debates leaving an apology for Wei Wuxian but opts not to...but also opts not to call him out on the even more hideous appearance of his half-mowed, half-overgrown front lawn. But events over take him...

...because when he gets home from work late on Friday afternoon, exhausted but finally done with his project, the suited lady is sitting in one of the chairs on Lan Wangji's front porch.

He has no idea what to make of that.

"Good evening," he says politely as he walks up to her. "I've been hoping to speak to you, so this is opportune. I'm Lan Wangji."

"Wen Qing," she replies, clipped and cold. "And I can't imagine why, since you seem not to care about anyone but yourself." LWJ blinks at her.

"I'd say forgive me my bluntness as i continue but in truth you've earned my bluntness in spades, I'm not sorry, and I don't give a rat's ass if an asshole like you forgives me or not."

Lan Wangji can only stare. He never imagined this well-dressed woman would speak so.

She takes his silence as acceptance and proceeds, "you can be as much of an asshole to your friends and family and random strangers as you want but if you don't lay off Wei Ying I will end you."

"End...me...???"

"You cannot *fathom* the harm you have done, and for what?

An eave? Some long grass? What kind of small minded petty douche bag goes after someone else's parenting over some grass???"

...God, she's right...

"Do you have any idea what he's been through? No, of course you don't, because you're too obsessed with yourself.

What you see as dire for him is *nothing,* because he's got REAL problems. He's raising A-Yuan, renting that apartment, and his family won't talk to him, and my family won't let me give him money, and he's busting his ass working three jobs plus odds and ends under the table.

And you care about his lawn? And some ice? If you ACTUALLY cared, has it ever crossed your mind that you could HELP HIM, instead of leaving those abominable notes?"

...it hadn't...God, she had every eight to be mad, and then some...

"And then you tell him he's

a disgrace when he's the hardest working, best man I've ever met, and you're a shitstain who can't even hold a candle to him, and now he's telling me he's fine, and I should leave him alone, and take A-Yuan away as if anyone loves that boy like he does. You. Are. The. Worst."

"I'm sorry," Lan Wangji whispers. It's all he can think of to say, and it's wholy inadequate.

"You know the worst part?" she continues implacably. "He rents that place, and my fucking cousin is the owner, and has forbidden WY from doing maintenance.

He'll evict Wei Ying for it, cause he doesn't trust WY not to cut corners, do a bad job, steal the lawnmower. And with you riding his ass, WY felt so bad about things he broke into the shed to mow at the only time he could, and you ripped him a new one for it, and now Wen Xu

is threatening to evict him and A-Yuan. Over a lawn. So I hope you're happy, cause you're going to get your wish. He'll be gone, and A-Yuan will be kicked into the system, and congratulations, maybe you'll get a more *tolerable* neighbor. Great work, there."

And Lan Wangji can say NOTHING.

(And crap I'm so out of time gotta go! I'll get back to it when I can!)

Alright gonna try to wrap this up, if my kids cooperate.

"That's it, that's what I came here to say," Wen Qing concludes. Lan Wangji could swear he had something he wanted to talk to her about...oh right. Enlisting her help in forcing Wei Wuxian to do his chores. "I'd say it's

been a pleasure to meet you, but who am I to lie? I hope you get visited by a fraction of the suffering you've visited on Wei Ying with your thoughtless, selfish words. Have a lousy evening, Lan Wangji," and she stalked down his front stairs and to her car, leaving him staring

speechless after her.

He continued to stand there, still and shocked, as the sun went down.

He continued to stand there as the moon rose.

He continued to stand there until his alarm chimed one hour until his bed time.

The whole time, his thoughts churned as he examined his prejudices and biases one by one and found himself to blame every time. He knew there were rentals in the neighborhood. He knew Wei Wuxian was always coming and going at weird times. He knew Wei Ying didn't even have time

to get dressed or eat a meal at home. The poor guy had so little time he'd resorted to mowing at 2 am. Lan Wangji had seen all of that, and instead of seeing signs of merit, he'd condemned, judged, assumed.

He'd been awful.

He truly had been the worst.

And now that Lan Wangji realizes all that...he has no idea what to do next.

That weekend, Lan Wangji shamefacedly watches until he's sure Wei Wuxian isn't home, then hauls out his own lawnmower and mows the front and backyards. When he's done, he leaves another note.

"I'm sorry. I've been terrible. You didn't deserve any of what I've said to you. Let me know if there's anyway I can help."

As he drops it off he sees A-Yuan peeking out from between a couple curtains, shy and nervous, and he offers the kid a wave.

A-Yuan squeaks and runs away.

The next morning, there's a note in Lan Wangji's notebook.

"Wen Qing got you didn't she"

It's the first time Wei Wuxian has written back. His handwriting is exactly the sloppy, hurried mess Lan Wangji would have predicted, and he didn't bother with punctuation...

...and every aspect of the letter that he would have sneered at the day before he now looks at with...he shouldn't call it fondness, that's totally inappropriate, especially given how abusive Lan Wangji's behavior has been...but it's definitely fondness.

"She did. She was right to do so," Lan Wangji writes back. "I was ignorant, and used that ignorance as a cruel bludgeon. I apologize again."

"stop you already said sorry its fine your not wrong I'm a shit neighbor"

"You're doing your best. If I can help my number is 2828223."

Not long after he gets a text, "ur lucky ur hot or ud be super annoying"

Lan Wangji strongly suspects that's Wei Wuxian-speak for "I forgive you."

He has no idea what to make of the "You're hot" part, especially since he suspects "back at you" is the wrong reply.

Over the following weeks they text ofte. Lan Wangji regrets his harsh words more and more. Wei Wuxian is smart, funny, flirty, hardworking, kind, adores his sun, endlessly cheerful, effortlessly gorgeous...

Wei Wuxian is amazing.

Lan Wangji is ashamed of how fast he's falling.

He keeps feeling like he should apologize but holds his tongue, instead focusing on showing his contrition. He repairs the eave. He fixes the gutter. He mows weekly. He offers to grab groceries for WWX to save him time, and only succeeds when he allows WWX to pay him extra

"For the inconvenience and gas," WWX explains, as if LWJ can't afford it, as WWX. He resists the urge to supplement what he gets them. He wants to help, but not against WWX's will. He doesn't want Wei Wuxian to think he owes LWJ. He doesn't want to be manipulative.

All the while, Wen Xu moves forward with his eviction efforts, and Wen Qing side eyes LWJ whenever she visits, and Wen Ning tentatively broaches friendship. As far as Lan Wangji can tell A-Yuan is Wei Wuxian's child by a now-deceased Wen sister of Wen Xu's, and both families hate

him for it - his own and the Wen. Only Wen Qing and Wen Ning help but their family is powerful enough that they can't do much without also risking their wrath. It's sad to see, since Wei Wuxian seems to be doing everything right. LWJ helps as he can, and talks about his own

family issues, and tried to be a good friend.

The first time Wei Wuxian asks for help with A-Yuan, it's an emergency. One of his jobs has threatened to fire him if he can't pick up a shift, and A-Yuan can't be alone that long, and so he goes over to Lan Wangji's house.

He's shy at first, seemingly afraid to even touch anything, but it proves easy to get him out of his shell when LWJ produces a few toys from when he was a kid. They end up doing puzzles for hours and lose track of time - A-Yuan's bedtime is an hour late and WWX scolds LWJ after.

Within weeks Lan Wangji is helping regularly, which he takes as validation that he'd done a good job that first night and a sign that Wei Wuxian trusts him. Increasingly, when he carries A-Yuan home, Wei Wuxian will invite LWJ over and they'll talk...though often WWX dozes off.

Wei Wuxian’s still a mess, irregular and erratic, but now Lan Wangji watches with affection, and picks up the slack, and supports him through the stresses of single dad-hood and Wen Xu's being a dick.

Finally, the eviction is finalized. It's total crap - Wei Wuxian did nothing

wrong - but again, the Wen are influential, and Wei Wuxian is no one. Lan Wangji finds out he's got no where to live when he shows up on the porch with A-Yuan at his side - "please watch him so I can pack our things in the car!" Wei Wuxian begs.

As if Lan Wangji would say no.

As if Lan Wangji wouldn't say, "don't pack your car, bring everything here. You can stay in the guest room while you look for a place."

Wei Wuxian looks so grateful it makes Lan Wangji's heart hurt. He apologized profusely, promises he'll only be there a few days, offers money

Lan Wangji turns down every gesture, and he isn't surprised when "just a couple days" becomes a week, a month...Wei Wuxian is so busy, there's no chance for apartment hunting...and also, LWJ has made clear theres no urgency. They fit in his life surprisingly easily.

He likes having them there. He likes cooking for three. He likes helping A-Yuan with his homework. He likes coming home to a house that feels lived in. He likes having friends. And he finally feels he's done enough to make up for his prior abysmal behavior.

And so time passes.

One month becomes a semester, becomes six months, becomes a new school year. Wei Wuxian pays a share of the mortgage and utilities, but only a small percentage - as much as the sq ft percentage of their room compared to the total size of the house. It's little enough that he can

go with only two jobs after he gets fired from the third. They fall into rhythms, and Lan Wangji falls into way more...but he can't possibly take advantage. Wei Wuxian is largely dependent on him - for a roof and for childcare, if in no other ways. And WWX flirts so casually

that Lan Wangji can't believe it means anything. Like, when he jokes that A-Yuan could have his own room if LWJ and WWX shared a bed...should LWJ take that seriously? He'd *love* to have WWX in his bed, but...but...but...there's always a reason not to take it seriously.

Once again, it's Wen Qing who breaks the impasse. "I'm taking A-Yuan for a sleepover, and you are talking to Wei Wuxian, and you are figuring your shit out before his moping and pining wear through my last shred of patience, understand?"

...Wei Wuxian is moping and pining?

Lan Wangji is still sorting that one out when Wei Wuxian gets home from work, excited about his night off from being dad. It's late on a Friday - later than Lan Wangji would usually stay up - and Wei Wuxian looks...incredible. His night gig is bar tender and he is lithe perfectio

in a black t-shirt, tight pants, and his hair in a slicked-back ponytail. There's about a dozen things Lan Wangji wants to say but he can only ogle as Wei Wuxian shakes himself out, kicks off his boots, and comments that he's surprised to see Lan Wangji still awake.

"I wanted to see you," Lan Wangji blurts, by way of explaining his wakefulness.

"Like...see me, see me or...see me?" asks Wei Wuxian.

"I have no idea what that means."

"Okay. Uh. Did I fuck something up?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then why...?"

And Lan Wangji realizes that he can't possibly get the words out. He's too afraid of taking advantage of their power dynamic. He's too afraid Wei Wuxian will reject him. He's just too dakj bad at using his words. So instead he steps forward slowly, telegraphing his intentions,

crowding Wei Wuxian's personal space. Wei Wuxian *could* move, but he doesn't, watching Lan Wangji wide-eyed, slim throat bobbing with rapid breaths and unsure swallows. And this is surely TONS less ok than just asking...talk about inappropriate behavior!...and LWJ freezes...

Wei Wuxian is so close his exhales brush over Lan Wangji's cheeks, and--

"What are you doing?" whispers WWX.

"...behaving inappropriately..." LWJ admits.

"...oh, cool. I thought what was what you were doing. Don't let me stop you."

"...huh??"

"Kiss me, you asshole."

And Lan Wangji does.

And Wei Wuxian reciprocates.

And oh...that's good. So good. Warm, and tender, and gentle...and then so frantic, and desperate, and they're both stumbling toward the stairs, attacking each other's clothes, lips coming together and apart with desperations.

They barely make it to Lan Wangji's bed as their hands search, finding hard muscle and soft skin and sensitive erections. Every time a fear bubbles up in Lan Wangji that he's taking advantage, Wei Wuxian speaks as if reading his mind -

"wanted you so bad, thought you didn't care

...didn't want to ask even more of you...fuck that feels good, Lan Zhan, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop..."

And Lan Zhan would keep going *forever* if it meant he got to hear Wei Wuxian say his name in that blessed out, reverent voice.

"...close, Wei Ying...I'm close..."

They come moaning each other's names and then lie side by side on the bed. Lan Wangji is tired...Wei Wuxian is too, judging by how often he yawns...but they talk, and talk, and talk, until dawn starts to pink the horizon visible through the window, and only then do they

pass out in each other's arms, both still trying to continue the conversation.

Lan Wangji's last coherent thought is that he's not sure when he fell in love but it's damn obvious now that he is, and has been for sometime.

They're woken up when Wen Qing returns with A-Yuan.

"Finally," she announces, rolling her eyes, apparently seeing great secrets of the past 12 hours in their disheveled appearances (LWJ realizes that he's wearing WWX's pants and WWX has on his shirt and that's kind of a dead giveaway and also oh god WWX is adorable in his shirt.)

Wei Wuxian stops looking for another apartment.

Lan Wangji ring shops for Christmas.

A-Yuan adores having a second dad, and adores having more time with his first dad, as Wei Wuxian is finally secure enough fiscally to drop down to just bartending.

The property next door is still a dump, but with his own house in ship-shape, and his yard mowed, and Wei Wuxian in his arms...Lan Wangji could truly care less.

(Wei Wuxian huffily declines Lan Wangji's proposal, goes upstairs, comes back down, and announces,

"I can't say yes to you proposing cause I'M proposing to YOU, asshole!" And produces a ring of his own.)

(And if anyone had told LWJ two years ago that he'd fall in love with someone who calls him "asshole" as a pet name he'd have thought them crazy)

(A-Yuan has started calling

him asshole too. With all the affectionate smiles to prove he has no idea what it means.)

(And of course Lan Wangji says yes to Wei Wuxian's proposal! But he does insist on putting his ring on Wei Wuxian's hand first...he did ask first, after all...)

(And, truly...whoever asked who what, whoever said yes to what, whoever proposed to whom...Lan Wangji couldn't possibly be happier.)

(Or so he thinks. Until their wedding day, and every day after...cause life just gets better and better.)

~fin~

Thanks for reading ya'll! Hope you enjoyed! I'll try to neaten this up and xpost to AO3 in the next few days. And get back to the tattoo/florist thread fic.