I’m not sure I agree that women should be less polite when emailing people. I’d prefer it if men were less rude. That chart doing the rounds about more assertive things to say would make most people sound like a prick. Eg if you’re late with something, it’s right to apologise.

There’s a massive difference between being overly deferential & apologising for yourself, which I agree we should all try to eliminate, & being downright entitled & demanding. I’d hate it if a man did it to me, so why should I do it to others?

“No worries if not” might be overused, but if you’re someone who gets a lot of requests, not all of them feasible, & has to spend a lot of time saying no, it’s nice to have someone make it clear they won’t resent you for it. A demanding email doesn’t always make a “yes” possible.

I think of asking for something not as a grab for that specific one thing, but as a potential opener for a long-term professional connection. Making it easy to say no to that one thing is much more rewarding in the long term & I’ve never turned someone away for being polite.

I have, however, remembered the nice person who emailed me back when I had nothing for them & a few months down the line got back in touch when I could actually help them. If they’d been a dick about it in the first instance, I wouldn’t have done that.

I will say that I do remember people who’ve been unusually rude and they do tend to go into a mental folder of “never work with this arsehole”