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TW / biphobia
I've woken up still livid about *that* tweet saying bisexual people are 'half straight' or have 'straight privilege' and I'm just sick of seeing it everywhere, and coming from a community that should be so tight-knit and supportive.
I've woken up still livid about *that* tweet saying bisexual people are 'half straight' or have 'straight privilege' and I'm just sick of seeing it everywhere, and coming from a community that should be so tight-knit and supportive.
I'm a white, straight-sized, bisexual woman - I have privilege in other ways, and I completely recognise that and make sure I'm aware of it, but I do not have privilege because of my bisexuality. Bi people aren't just diet straight or pretending or attention-seeking.
TW / abuse, gaslighting
Speaking from personal experience, my bisexuality has been weaponised and used as a tool to abuse me. I was told that I was 'very likely to cheat' and therefore couldn't be trusted to go out with friends. I was painted as an inherently bad person.
Speaking from personal experience, my bisexuality has been weaponised and used as a tool to abuse me. I was told that I was 'very likely to cheat' and therefore couldn't be trusted to go out with friends. I was painted as an inherently bad person.
I was confused for a really long time in my formative years and eventually settled into bisexuality as the label that felt right for me. Accepting myself was hard enough - nobody needs to also have to fight to be accepted in an inclusive community too.
While we're at it, stop calling bi people in a relationship with someone who identifies as a different gender as being in a 'straight relationship'. We're not straight, so it isn't a straight relationship. In fact, just stop labelling relationships altogether.
I'm someone who identifies as she/her and my partner identifies as he/him. We're both bisexual - but even if one of us was straight, it wouldn't mean the other is in a 'straight relationship'. It's just a relationship, that's it. No caveats.
The myths surrounding bi people can be dangerous. They seem to fall into two non-mutually-exclusive categories: that we're hypersexual and therefore likely to be unfaithful // that we're using the bi label for attention/to look different/to claim oppression. Let's look at those.
"Bi people are hypersexual" - bisexuality and hypersexuality aren't mutually exclusive, but someone being one doesn't automatically make them the other, and there is nothing wrong with either. Bi people can be demisexual as well, or polysexual, or anything they feel.
What I'm saying is - stop equating the two!! Stop reading other traits on to us because of our sexuality. If we're hypersexual, it isn't because we're bi. It's just because we're hypersexual. Other sexualities can be too. It's a trait separate from sexuality.
"Bi people are more likely to cheat" - no, we're not. Again, someone's likelihood of cheating is a trait separate from sexuality. This seems to stem from the idea that because we can be attracted to all genders, there are more people for us to cheat with, which is just ridiculous
Again, it comes back to the myth of hypersexuality being tied to bisexuality. The possibility of being attracted to all genders is not an instant attraction to ANY person. And if you're bi and you are attracted to lots of people, that's great! But it isn't because you're bi!
Not that I need to justify myself at all, but I'm incredibly picky and it's difficult for me to develop real attraction to people. I know people of other sexualities who find it easier. Again, neither are 'wrong' - what is wrong is making these assumptions.
"Bi people are just pretending" - no, we're not. Bi isn't a safe label. People might use it for a while then realise it isn't for them. That's okay!! But not everyone who's bi will move on from that label, because it is a real label. I promise you.
"Bi people are just trying to claim oppression" - this is such a dangerous thing to say. Nobody actively wants to make their life more difficult or play 'oppression bingo' with labels. Again, what you're saying here is that we're pretending to be bi.
This assumption also links in with the idea that people can choose their sexuality, which is a dangerous one for the LGBTQ+ community as a whole and has been used for years against us. We're not faking it, I promise you. It's very real and very valid.
If someone does change their label from bi to something else, that also doesn't mean they were faking their bisexuality. Sometimes a label can feel right, sometimes people change, it happens. It doesn't make the sexuality they once identified as any less real or valid.
BASICALLY just stop spewing these bizarre tropes about bisexuality or trying to section us off from the LGBTQ+ community. We should be standing together and supporting each other. End of.
