To maintain my sanity and kill some downtime at my place of employ, I will now write a series of reviews of SiriusXM channel The Bridge's playlist as the songs come up on the satellite radio in the lobby. Tolerate. #BridgeMixology

"Sundown," Gordon Lightfoot - belying his soft-rock troubadour image and his Canadian citizenship, Gord was clearly no one to trifle with. The subject of this song apparently heeded his warnings and stayed away, opting to kill John Belushi instead. #BridgeMixology

"These Days," Jackson Browne - sounds pretty nice, but I much prefer Nico's version. Pretty sure she beat Daryl Hannah a lot less than he did, for extra points. #BridgeMixology

"Black Cow," Steely Dan - not even in my personal SD top 30, but, like pretty much everything else they did, purt near bulletproof. And let it be noted that they wrote about ten times as many songs about heroin than Lou Reed ever did. #BridgeMixology

"I've Got a Name," Jim Croce - well, duh, dude, it's right there on the record label. But David Crosby's was right there on HIS and he couldn't remember it, so fair play. #BridgeMixology

"Lucky Man," Emerson Lake & Palmer - second-most-tolerable ELP song, and like #1, it relegates the Moog-wankery to the last minute, whereby it sounds kinda cool, really. #BridgeMixology

"Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth)," George Harrison - you won't catch me laying the neg on GH, but I did notice that this humble plea to Krishna could also be taken as an unusually desperate request to get laid. Like all good religious numbers, really. #BridgeMixology

"Rosanna," Toto - and in a related story, has anyone tallied up whether Rosanna Arquette or Pattie Boyd has had more songs written about her? #BridgeMixology

"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," Elton John - hmmm, from Toto to this. The random SiriusXM algorithm is programming things the way I do my own radio show. #BridgeMixology

"Ventura Highway," America - "sorry boy, but I've been hit by/Purple rain." Further proof that Prince stole pretty much every move he ever made from these guys. Please attend my forthcoming TED talk, "Little Red Corvette With No Name." #BridgeMixology

"I'd Love You to Want Me," Lobo - not much to say about this, but I just found out that this guy was in a band with both Gram Parsons AND Jim Stafford, and if you're steeped in 70s music triviata like I am, your mind is as officially blown as mine. You're welcome. #BridgeMixology

"Don't Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)," Fleetwood Mac - well, thanks, but I was writing this thread specifically to avoid doing just that. AND you've just put the Clintons back in my mind, so I hope every one of you is haunted by the ghost of your lost septums. #BridgeMixology

"Baby Come Back," Player - maybe you should have thought of that when you chose the name of your band, dudes. I'd've split town too. #BridgeMixology

"On and On," Stephen Bishop - that stuff about Jamaican women would probably get him cancelled today, don't you think? Otherwise, ehh, this doesn't make me want to smash his guitar against a frat house wall. (A reference that should bring this thread full circle. But I press on.)

"I'm Not In Love," 10cc - This channel is good at triggering various childhood traumas - I swear to god the version of this that played on the radio used to have a really disturbing crying baby effect on the "big boys don't cwy" part, but I can't find it anywhere. Am I nuts?

"My Love," Paul McCartney and Wings - in this instance, I cede the floor to the great
@SotoAlfred
: https://humanizingthevacuum.wordpress.com/2017/11/03/worst-songs-ever-paul-mccartney-and-wings-my-love/
Woe woe woe is me.
#BridgeMixology

"Doctor My Eyes," Jackson Browne - ah, this asshole again. He beat his girlfriend, have I mentioned that yet? #BridgeMixology