In the first year of my PhD, a post-doc in my old department would make homophobic statements quite often during our lunchtime. "I am not homophobic but…. why do gay men have to be holding hands in public? Can't they just keep their affection at home?"
"Gay men don't wanna have kids or get married. Rodrigo, you don't want to have kids, right? You’re not going to get married, Rodrigo, are you?"
It has been 6 years since that happened, I am very happily married to my lovely husband
, but I still think about those stupid words every so often, like now, on a random post-Halloween Sunday morning.

Those idiotic words, which could only have come from a privileged chauvinistic middle-aged middle-class straight white stupid cis-man, echo in my head until this day! I did try confronting him a few times back then, saying how unfair his comments were...
But it was my first year living in the UK and my English wasn't great (particularly for keeping up with heated arguments), so I just didn’t know the right words to argue appropriately yet.
Today, I know that his behavior was completely unacceptable and that I should have reported him to my supervisor or to the graduate student office.
***University administrators***: IT IS YOUR JOB to make sure that all members of staff (and students!) undergo training about discrimination in the workplace, that highlights the importance of diversity in society, and that makes sure people know how to report discrimination.
(Come on, if you make everyone attend mandatory online courses about “working ergonomically” or “fire safety”, you could make everyone attend a diversity-in-the-workplace training!
)

***LGBTQ+ students, migrants, POCs, women, or anyone who needs to read this***: you may not be part of the dominant or most prevalent group in your workplace, BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and often there are systems in place to report racism, misogyny, queerphobia, xenophobia, etc.
USE THESE MECHANISMS! If you ever want to talk to someone, I’m also here for you. But NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER, by any means, allow these microaggressions to build up and challenge your well-being!