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Oh hey, there’s some stuff I have a feeling I have to say about concerning re:my idol collection! Especially now when I’m sharing photos and basically flexing about it 
[long, messy thread]
[long, messy thread]
Please, PLEASE never think you’re bad fan for not having this or that fan merch, or for not having as much as someone else has etc.
Also however, please don’t make those, who have merch, feel bad and guilty about it.
But also fellow flexers; open your eyes & see your privilege.
Also however, please don’t make those, who have merch, feel bad and guilty about it.
But also fellow flexers; open your eyes & see your privilege.
Since I recognise I’m extremely privileged in many aspects, I often try to not feel guilty myself about it even though I want to actively realise not everyone is in as good situation as I am (what comes to: collecting stuff, or just travelling&meeting idols, you name it).
I make lots of fun about myself being “weak for chekis” or “oh i bought x0 copies of same single to get Y”. I kinda realise it’s... not the best way especially in social media where you compare yourself to others even without thinking about it. Sorry. I want to limit that.
I KNOW it’s interesting to see someone’s collection or display, I love to see them myself as well! However, it’s also way too easy to think you’re doing something wrong for not having as much stuff as someone else does. I do, too, feel like that sometimes.
People saw my CD shelf and called it goals. I want to believe you guys meant the way I displayed some stuff, not the *amount of CDs* I’ve got lol. So again: Please don’t think you should have as much CDs as I or someone else has.
I’ve got that big ‘collection’ mainly because I’m a hamster who likes to collect stuff from things she likes. Also, it took years idols realised streaming sites are Fun and blocking videos on YT is Not Cool. So you had to either download or buy your music as a foreigner fan.
But I’m majorly just into physical merch. I don’t need this much CDs, trust me. However I keep believeing they give me some sort of happiness. Some have memories, some I bought just to get full collection. Or something like that.
You see where I’m going? I have lots of excuses.
You see where I’m going? I have lots of excuses.
How do I afford all that merch? Like I said, I’m privileged. Starting from: I live in Finland, my education in uni level costs ~100€ a year, there’s not much health costs if I need to see doctor etc.
I don’t live on my own, I don’t have a rent or other things to pay monthly.
I don’t live on my own, I don’t have a rent or other things to pay monthly.
I’m lucky to have a (seasonal) job in these times. I can save the € I get there. I spend my own € on merch. I’m an adult, yet with very little responsibilities.
I’ve also been idol fan for good +10 years. My parents have allowed me to order CDs even when I was 14 or so.
I’ve also been idol fan for good +10 years. My parents have allowed me to order CDs even when I was 14 or so.
I also give an excuse for myself to purchase something: oh I don’t drink so I can buy merch. (One drink might cost the same as one CD, for instance) I don’t go anywhere so I can order that. No travelling in 2020? Hello, online events!
If I don’t x, I can y -mentality.
If I don’t x, I can y -mentality.
I’ve never paid for any streaming sites(Netflix, Disney+, Spotify etc), so purchasing 6000¥ net ticket to see couple of lives doesn’t feel like a ‘bad choice’. However, I try to understand that meanwhile I can purchase that, others might not have the same chance.
Does lots of merch make me happy? It depends. Some merch does, but mainly it’s just... the stuff I have in my room? It’s usually just a decoration? I bet I wouldn’t feel the difference had I never bought thing x, though.
It’s easier said than done, I know, and this sounds the biggest cliche coming from someone who shouldn’t even say this but I wish someone had told me this years ago; be happy with the stuff you already have and buy just for yourself, not to show others.
Big collection might look Super Cool And Something To Achieve but you know what looks even cooler? Actually tiny and meaningful collection. You know, quality over amount.
I have many thoughts head full but I just, feel little bad and maybe even uncomfortable when people seem to idolise me and/or my collection just because the amount of merch is... pretty big...
so tldr; having tons of merch isn’t actually that cool nor sign of being a good person
so tldr; having tons of merch isn’t actually that cool nor sign of being a good person
