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Domestic Violence is one of the issues that affects males in a unique way.
She beats you up, even beats you up with a weapon. You are trying to be chilvarous and not hit a woman.
She beats you up, even beats you up with a weapon. You are trying to be chilvarous and not hit a woman.
She gets the idea that she will always get away with it. So, she continues. Every time is worse than the last time. But, you shouldn't hit women.
Your friends see you with scratches and bruises. You're late to work and you make up excuses.
Your friends see you with scratches and bruises. You're late to work and you make up excuses.
You're trying to be the man and protect your wife, so you hide it...in shame.
You listen carefully when she talks (shouts) so that you can do exactly what she wants. You do it. Still, she beats you with a belt, hanger, throws a bottle at you, scalds you with hot iron, pours hot stew on you....when she is angry at you.
I know a guy who's girlfriend was beating up his younger sister with a belt. He came in and tried to stop it.
The gf faced him and started beating him up with the belt.
The gf faced him and started beating him up with the belt.
He backed off and she returned to beating up his sister, till she was satisfied. He could only watch and beg.
I know another guy whose colleagues have to go to his house any day they see he is late for work.
I know another guy whose colleagues have to go to his house any day they see he is late for work.
His wife beats him up and locks him in the toilet.
His colleagues find a way to enter and get him out of the toilet, so he can go to work.
The guy works with DSS.
His colleagues find a way to enter and get him out of the toilet, so he can go to work.
The guy works with DSS.
However, there's another dimension to domestic violence against males.
The son of a relative or lovechild of the husband who now lives with man and wife.
The son of a relative or lovechild of the husband who now lives with man and wife.
The boy gets maltreated by the wife when the husband goes to work or business. Doesn't get the same food as the wife's kids. Doesn't sleep in the same conditions.
Gets severely beaten for minor errors.
Gets severely beaten for minor errors.
Many young men who grew up with a female relative or a step mother as a mother-figure have these tales.
They show you scars of where they were cut by weapons (shoes, razors, canes etc) during a session of discipline by the mother of the house.
They show you scars of where they were cut by weapons (shoes, razors, canes etc) during a session of discipline by the mother of the house.
These same boys grow up and some become successful and take care of these same women who inflicted horror on them.
Is there a solution?
Maybe.
The thing with a bully is how you respond the first time they try to bully you.
Is there a solution?
Maybe.
The thing with a bully is how you respond the first time they try to bully you.
It is usually a minor thing that seems abnormal. Eg. Your first argument, mid argument...she slaps you hard.
Some guys, let this pass. If you do, a bully will try it again....a much harder slap.
Some guys, let this pass. If you do, a bully will try it again....a much harder slap.
When she hits you in anger the first time, sternly let her know you'd rather end the relationship/marriage than tolerate it. And you need to mean it. Walk out.
Men and boys have died at the hands of women who feel they are punishing them.
Men and boys have died at the hands of women who feel they are punishing them.
Alternatively, you can put the fear of god in her and show her you are willing to be disproportionately physical if she ever tries it again. You don't need to hit her to communicate this clearly.
If you're a man experiencing domestic violence or you know a boy experiencing such, there's a registered body that handles such.
The Catalyst Men's Network.
The number to call is Dayo Adeyemi 08028882828.
He is a professional that has dedicated his life to this. Call now
The Catalyst Men's Network.
The number to call is Dayo Adeyemi 08028882828.
He is a professional that has dedicated his life to this. Call now
If you are a man and see a boy being abused in a home.
Call the authorities.
Don't sit back and watch.
If you're a husband in a home where your woman is maltreating kids that are not hers biologically....you need to make sure she stops. By whatever means necessary.
Call the authorities.
Don't sit back and watch.
If you're a husband in a home where your woman is maltreating kids that are not hers biologically....you need to make sure she stops. By whatever means necessary.
It is important to appropriately assess the woman under your roof.
When you read studies on the Dark Triad of behavior (Narcissism, Psychopathy and Machiavellianism) you find the studies saying that women's capacity for evil and deception is generally underestimated.
When you read studies on the Dark Triad of behavior (Narcissism, Psychopathy and Machiavellianism) you find the studies saying that women's capacity for evil and deception is generally underestimated.
As such, women do great evil and people justify it on their behalf and they get away with a lot. For more info, Google "dark triad traits in women".
When you finally understand this, you see then need to see the woman under your roof not as a mere woman, but as an INDIVIDUAL.
When you finally understand this, you see then need to see the woman under your roof not as a mere woman, but as an INDIVIDUAL.
Make objective judgements on her actual actions, not your perception or justification of her actions.
It is important because this inaccurate judgement is why when you go on instablog and read a story of a woman who murdered her man for infidelity, you see hundreds of comments castigating the dead man for cheating and justifying his murder by the woman.
This "women are wonderful" effect is why a man would be attacked by his woman with a knife, and the man would justify her actions and say "she was just angry and reacted", neglecting the fact that he spent 3 days in hospital to treat the injuries and could have lost his life.
It is important to accurately and objectively assess the behaviour of the woman under your roof. If you wouldn't tolerate it from a man, don't tolerate it from her. This is one way we can end this.
Note that this post in no way is against women.
Note that this post in no way is against women.
God gave me the grace to learn a lot of these things years ago and as such, women in my life have been wonderful since then. This is not a cliche. They have been genuinely wonderful.
They are wonderful because I immediately cut off those that have unacceptable behaviours.
They are wonderful because I immediately cut off those that have unacceptable behaviours.
Immediately and permanently.
I encourage all men to do the same.
#KeepTheBeardNovember
#InternationalMensDayNov19
#Movember
To spread awareness, share this post right now.
Happy New month.
I encourage all men to do the same.
#KeepTheBeardNovember
#InternationalMensDayNov19
#Movember
To spread awareness, share this post right now.
Happy New month.
