THREAD

I've noticed that early in transition trans men typically put a lot of effort into fulfilling a more stereotypical masculine role. It's odd considering that many of them are very feminine prior to transition. They became hyper masculine and at times...misogynistic.

They are unware of their behavior and lost in character. The idea that you have to be extremely masculine as a man is nothing but a fantasy of what they thought couldn't be done as a woman. They chase this fantasy until the fire burns out and it does within 2-3yrs.

FTMs are more likely to detransition when they begin to transition under the age of 18. I know this might upset some people but there's no need to sugarcoat the truth. Another thing I've noticed is the longer a trans man has transitioned for...the less he cares about masculinity.

This is something that I've been observing a lot and find it to be difficult to do so at times. Because there's no way to observe what you can on some level relate to and not self-reflect. I relate to the transition aspect and re-entering the world as a man in society.

I don't relate to suddenly chasing the idea that I have to be masculine because I'm a trans man. I've always had a sort of butch-androgynous (GNC) way of being. It didn't matter what my gender presentation was, really. I'd still have a more masculine NOT feminine attitude.

Which is why this is sort of bizarre to watch unfold before my eyes. I don't understand how these young females are more feminine but suddenly hyper masculine. I don't understand how we've allowed them to convince themselves that masculinity is only achieved by being a man.

The hardest part about being involved in the trans discourse is overanalyzing myself way too often. The last thing I want to do is miss any signs of error of my own. I worry about my health and I don't think that will ever go away. That's always been my fear with transition.

Not the loss of hair or increase in body hair. Not the sound of my voice or gain in strength. Not the feeling like a horny 16yr old boy at every hour. Not the increase in appetite or sudden rage when someone cuts me off in traffic. Not the ghost-like feeling of being a man.

It is the lack of knowing precisely what happens to my body as it ages as a trans man. It is the unknown statistics of what trans men go through as they grow older. It is the misinformation that's thrown around that adds to the fear of not knowing what's ahead. So why keep going?

Because I can't imagine NOT being a man and everything that comes with/is being a man. I know that I'm not a biological male and this can not be fully achieved. But, medical transition has brought that reality closer than it ever was. The physical changes and societal changes...

These changes have turned my life around for the better and I'd never want to take any of it back. For me, there is something sort of rewarding in being a trans man. I have no shame in my identity. It's given me a sense of appreciation for both men and women.