In 2017 and 2018 the Houston Astros cheated & won the 2017 World Series* using a system of hidden cameras to steal signs and banging a trash can to signal pitches to the batter. Astro management was punished, but the players were not. These are their stories.

Jose Altuve (27):
Weighing 21 lbs and standing 2ft 5in tall. Swears he never used the trash can, there was no need for it when his buzzer told him what pitch was coming. Recently finished his “I love Rob Manfred” tattoo. Feel free to rip off his jersey after the next walk off.

Josh Reddick (22)
Resident trash can banger. Only plays in half the games because he can’t hit left handed pitching. When he’s not batting 8th he spends his free time banging trash cans to let his teammates know what pitch is coming. Thinks all this Astro hate is Reddickulous.

Carlos Correa (1)
After the Astros finished the 2020 season under .500, Correa wants you all to know the trash cans definitely didn’t affect the game. Well maybe it did for him, he hit 239 in 2018 when he knew what pitch was coming. Wears his pants legs so high to distract you.

Alex Bregman (2)
Been dreaming about winning that “piece of metal” his whole life. Very bad at apologies, we feel bad for Mrs Bregman.

George Springer (4)
A known cheater. Pumpkin eater. Rumored to want to leave the Astros this offseason in free agency. The boo-birds will follow you forever, George.

@AsteriskTour

@tvdave