How do you vet someone - A thread.

First off, let me acknowledge the fact that this is from my perspective - someone who takes BDSM and the responsibility that comes with healthy dynamics seriously. And because of this, I have high standards and am particular with whom I 1/10

get involved with. I will never want to get involved with someone I barely know, someone who isn't particular about who their partner might be (and getting to know them first), or who isn't interested in learning about healthy BDSM dynamics.

If this sounds like 2/10

you, then hopefully this thread can help you.

What is vetting?

Vetting is the process of getting to know each other. To make sure that you are both safe, compatible, and like each other. To begin with, it should be done in a non-kink environment, meaning no honorifics, 3/10

No rules, etc. Essentially just two vanilla people getting to know each other - but also discussing kinks. (I said discussing, not practicing).

There isn't a specific "order" in which things need to be done, but it's useful to make sure that you at least have the same 4/10

kinks early on, as that is the whole point of searching for a dynamic - you're looking for someone with mutually compatible kinks.

That's relatively easy to do considering with any kink social media, people usually specify their kinks and what they're looking for in their 5/10

bios. People also do lie unfortunately, but when you've been doing it so long, it's pretty easy to tell the ones looking for genuine dynamics from the ones lying (but that's another thread). 6/10

Here are some questions for you and a potential partner to both know just to give you an idea and get you started.

What would be the ideal dynamic for you?
What would an average ideal day with your partner look like for you?
What expectations do you have from your partner? 7/10

How would you most enjoy being served/serving?
What do you need from the dynamic?
What do you want from the dynamic?
What are your hard and soft limits?
What are your favourite kinks/fetishes?
What fantasies would you like to try? 8/10

What does Domination look like for you?
What does submission look like for you?
What foreplay act/s turn you on most?
Are there certain words or things that make you feel particularly aroused?
Are you interested in having rules? If so what kind? 9/10

What form of aftercare would you like to receive/give?
What kind of punishments work best to deter you? (Sub)
What kind of funishments do you enjoy?
Are there certain words or things that put you in a dominant/submissive/etc headspace? 10/10