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I recently had the chance to talk about my #ADHD experience with @MindingtheBrain's @NeuroCarleton class.
I promised a longer tweet-thread, so here goes.
In true ADHD style it might be rambling (as visualized so well be @danidonovan).
#ADHDAwarenessMonth #ADHDTwitter
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I promised a longer tweet-thread, so here goes.
In true ADHD style it might be rambling (as visualized so well be @danidonovan).
#ADHDAwarenessMonth #ADHDTwitter
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I wasn't diagnosed until 2yrs ago (at 44) when we saw my now 10yr old son struggling in school. My partner found the #ADHD self-assessment tool and asked me to take it.
I was absolutely floored. I have struggled with #Anxiety for decades but this was the 1st thing that fit.
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I was absolutely floored. I have struggled with #Anxiety for decades but this was the 1st thing that fit.
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Having sought counselling for the last 15yrs, #ADHD was never mentioned to me. Self-diagnosis was key to getting this process started.
We focussed on perfectionism, guilt, #Anxiety, and #shame - all of which come with ADHD.
BUT, it never "felt" right.
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We focussed on perfectionism, guilt, #Anxiety, and #shame - all of which come with ADHD.
BUT, it never "felt" right.
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A reason for my late #ADHD diagnosis is that I developed many coping mechanisms:
- keeping my physical environment neat
- using other stimulants (coffee, allergy meds, alcohol)
- a partner who manages finances, kids, appointments
- lot's of daily routines
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- keeping my physical environment neat
- using other stimulants (coffee, allergy meds, alcohol)
- a partner who manages finances, kids, appointments
- lot's of daily routines
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I now take #ADHD medication which is a HUGE help.
I can "start" my day
I can focus on tasks
Decreased desire for other stimulants
Decreased impulsivity
However, there is still #Stigma about medication, despite how integral it is now to my functioning.
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I can "start" my dayI can focus on tasksDecreased desire for other stimulantsDecreased impulsivityHowever, there is still #Stigma about medication, despite how integral it is now to my functioning.
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So, what does #ADHD actually "look like" for me?
I'm not hyperactive and wasn't as a kid. I talked a lot but wasn't disruptive. But, I never feel "rested" or restful. I fidget a lot and can't sit still. My brain is moves very fast from thought to though.
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I'm not hyperactive and wasn't as a kid. I talked a lot but wasn't disruptive. But, I never feel "rested" or restful. I fidget a lot and can't sit still. My brain is moves very fast from thought to though.
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I have trouble prioritizing. I will do the exciting and new, ignoring anything else way beyond what's reasonable. Starting important tasks can be overwhelming, to the point that it's totally debilitating.
(credit to @danidonovan)
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(credit to @danidonovan)
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One thing I feel is that my late diagnosis has led to a "hard-wiring" of negative emotional experiences.
My stress response is stronger - small things feel really big (lots of stress hormones like cortisol).
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is helping to re-wire though.
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My stress response is stronger - small things feel really big (lots of stress hormones like cortisol).
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is helping to re-wire though.
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This brings me to #ADHD and #COVID19. There have been several things that make this hard for neurodiverse folks especially. While everyone is struggling, some of our challenges can be unique.
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First, the continual upset and re-upset of routines during #PandemicLife makes one of my primary coping mechanisms impossible.
Without routine, managing daily tasks like showering, getting dressed, or eating take up so much of my #ADHD energy.
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Without routine, managing daily tasks like showering, getting dressed, or eating take up so much of my #ADHD energy.
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The low-level stress every-present from #COVID19 has resulted in way more #ADHD impairment:
Poorer executive function (working slower)
Decreased memory (forgetting things)
Less mental flexibility (less creativity)
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Poorer executive function (working slower)Decreased memory (forgetting things)Less mental flexibility (less creativity)/11
I also find that any extra stress right now (kids sick, negative work interactions, finances) can be a "tipping-point."
My baseline stress is so high right now that adding one more thing can quickly result in paralysis.
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My baseline stress is so high right now that adding one more thing can quickly result in paralysis.
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Being diagnosed #ADHD has been exceedingly positive.
While I "managed" before, the diagnosis has allowed me to identify specific tools to help me. It also (sometimes) makes it seem less like a personal failing, and more like a disability that I manage.
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While I "managed" before, the diagnosis has allowed me to identify specific tools to help me. It also (sometimes) makes it seem less like a personal failing, and more like a disability that I manage.
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