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Like a lot of LGBT people, I have several coming out stories. I’ve come out to friends, family, and others in small instances throughout my life. Of all of those moments, by far my favorite and best exeperience coming out was with my Marines at 2nd LAAD #NationalComingOutDay 1/10
For background, I was raised under the umbrella of the AIDS epidemic. From as young as I can remember, being gay was demonized. At home, at school, at church, in media, by elected officials. Everywhere. Looking back, I learned to hate myself before I even completely knew myself.
By the time I made it to 2nd LAAD, I’d come out to my family who cut off communication except for occasional emails with bible scriptures, and HS friends who were confused. Those reactions plus challenging moments of homophobia led to me burying my secret while in the Navy.
I managed to successfully carry the weight of sadness and paranoia quietly for 3 years, and 2 deployments. At least I thought I did. We were ramping up for another tour in Iraq, and spent most of our free time shitfaced at a buddy’s house off base. This was one of those nights.
We all got pretty tanked, playing quarters, when my buddy Henry was like “Hey, man. We have something we want to ask you. You don’t have to answer, but it’s something we heard.” My stomach immediately began tying itself in knots. I knew the moment I dreaded was coming.
How did they know? Who told them? My mind began racing. Every second seemed to hang in the air for an eternity as I waited for the inevitable question.
“Are you gay? It’s cool if you are, man.” I felt like everyone was staring at me without staring at me. I laughed nervously and weighed what to say next. After a long pause, I said “yeah”. There was another moment of silence before the room completely exploded. “I TOLD YOU!”
Apparently this was heavily discussed internally within the group. They all laughed, a few of us hugged, and they reassured me they absolutely couldn’t give 2 shits that I was gay. We all went back to drinking, and the rest of the night was filled with geniune curiosity
They asked the usual questions. When did you know, etc. The amount of relief I felt from their unconditional friendship, and love was overwhelming. Here I was with a group of Marines who’d gone to war, and not for one second did they make me feel less than. We were brothers.
Of all of the instances of coming out- to my mom, dad, siblings, and high school friends- this was the first time I was immediately accepted. I will forever be grateful to my Marine buddies because through their love for me I learned how to love myself.
Bonus tweet: They also asked me to rank them based on attractiveness, and after placing my buddy Connor last, he sobbed and asked me why I thought he was ugly lmao