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English Premier League managers as teachers in UK schools.
A thread:
A thread:
1. Sean Dyche
Head of behaviour. Scariest bloke in the school. Frightens the teachers as much as the kids. Got a reputation and lives up to it. Likes a drink on the staff night out.
Head of behaviour. Scariest bloke in the school. Frightens the teachers as much as the kids. Got a reputation and lives up to it. Likes a drink on the staff night out.
2. Scott Parker
Nice lad, sharp suit, fresh out of Uni. Unfortunately he’s got no clue in the classroom. Unlikely to be seen after the first half term. Head of Department has already enquired about Mr Allardyce’s availability.
Nice lad, sharp suit, fresh out of Uni. Unfortunately he’s got no clue in the classroom. Unlikely to be seen after the first half term. Head of Department has already enquired about Mr Allardyce’s availability.
3. Brendan Rodgers
Climbing the greasy pole. He’s got a new innovation every school year. Doesn’t do much teaching but likes to tell everyone else how it should be done. Loves a knowledge organiser.
Climbing the greasy pole. He’s got a new innovation every school year. Doesn’t do much teaching but likes to tell everyone else how it should be done. Loves a knowledge organiser.
4. Pep Guardiola
Head of Philosophy. Refuses to teach anything but top sets. Gets all his kids into Oxbridge. Always the snappiest dresser in the staff room.
Head of Philosophy. Refuses to teach anything but top sets. Gets all his kids into Oxbridge. Always the snappiest dresser in the staff room.
5. Roy Hodgson
Should probably have stopped teaching ten years ago. He taught your dad and your grandad. Wheeled out to teach year 7 each year. The school wouldn’t be the same without him.
Should probably have stopped teaching ten years ago. He taught your dad and your grandad. Wheeled out to teach year 7 each year. The school wouldn’t be the same without him.
6. Steve Bruce
Been a PE teacher for about 20 years. Inexplicably teaches year 9 geography a few times a week. No idea what goes on in his lessons but the kids seem happy.
Been a PE teacher for about 20 years. Inexplicably teaches year 9 geography a few times a week. No idea what goes on in his lessons but the kids seem happy.
7. Frank Lampard
Ex-head boy back teaching in the swanky private school. Great pupil, average teacher. Thinks he’s mates with the kids. Thinks he’s probably the best teacher. No one really likes him anymore.
Ex-head boy back teaching in the swanky private school. Great pupil, average teacher. Thinks he’s mates with the kids. Thinks he’s probably the best teacher. No one really likes him anymore.
8. José Mourinho
Uncle José. Seemed a horrible bugger from the outside. But once you’re in his class, you realise he’s a good bloke. Tough but fair. Good banter. Don’t get on the wrong side of him.
Uncle José. Seemed a horrible bugger from the outside. But once you’re in his class, you realise he’s a good bloke. Tough but fair. Good banter. Don’t get on the wrong side of him.
9. Ole Gunnar Solskjær
The class is on fire. The school is on fire. Everything’s on fire. He stares at the misbehaviour. He looks like he could cry. He wishes he was back in Norway.
The class is on fire. The school is on fire. Everything’s on fire. He stares at the misbehaviour. He looks like he could cry. He wishes he was back in Norway.
10. Carlo Ancelotti
Papa Carlo. He’s done it all. Taught across the world. Been in all the top jobs. Universally respected. He’s back doing what he loves best. Working with difficult classes and helping students achieve their full potential. If anyone can do it, Carlo can.
Papa Carlo. He’s done it all. Taught across the world. Been in all the top jobs. Universally respected. He’s back doing what he loves best. Working with difficult classes and helping students achieve their full potential. If anyone can do it, Carlo can.
11. Dean Smith
Seems like he’s in control of behaviour. But really, it’s the class that controls him. If the kids decide they don’t like him there’s nothing he can do. Keeping his best student on side is key.
Seems like he’s in control of behaviour. But really, it’s the class that controls him. If the kids decide they don’t like him there’s nothing he can do. Keeping his best student on side is key.
12. Marcelo Bielsa.
The professor. A Level maths teacher. Doesn’t really like kids but just loves maths. You walk into his class a boy and leave a man.
The professor. A Level maths teacher. Doesn’t really like kids but just loves maths. You walk into his class a boy and leave a man.
13. Mikel Arteta
Can he teach? Doesn’t matter. Great on a parents evening. He’s been the deputy head of department for a long time. Trying to make a name for himself now he’s get the top job.
Can he teach? Doesn’t matter. Great on a parents evening. He’s been the deputy head of department for a long time. Trying to make a name for himself now he’s get the top job.
14. Chris Wilder
10/10 bloke. Quality banter and won’t let you overstep the mark. If you see him in the pub 10 years down the line, he’ll buy you a pint. The beating heart of the school.
10/10 bloke. Quality banter and won’t let you overstep the mark. If you see him in the pub 10 years down the line, he’ll buy you a pint. The beating heart of the school.
15. Nuno Espírito Santo
Head of foreign languages. Lovely guy, very cultured. Big on twitter.
Always organises the annual trip to Portugal. In a very cushty job that he won’t be giving up for a while.
Head of foreign languages. Lovely guy, very cultured. Big on twitter.
Always organises the annual trip to Portugal. In a very cushty job that he won’t be giving up for a while.
16. David Moyes
On a long-term sick. Kids seem happier without him there. Prone to prolonged incoherent rambles. Probably worth just sticking with the cover teacher.
On a long-term sick. Kids seem happier without him there. Prone to prolonged incoherent rambles. Probably worth just sticking with the cover teacher.
17. Graham Potter
New Head of IT.
18 months? Hardly even noticed he existed. Seems a nice enough bloke anyway.
New Head of IT.
18 months? Hardly even noticed he existed. Seems a nice enough bloke anyway.
18. Slaven Billic
Was at the school a few years ago. Left for a few years, went to Europe, grew a beard, came back. Doesn’t look like he’ll last the year. Bit of a temper.
Was at the school a few years ago. Left for a few years, went to Europe, grew a beard, came back. Doesn’t look like he’ll last the year. Bit of a temper.
19. Jurgen Klopp
Headmaster. Turned the school around. Head after head came and went. But it was Jurgen that managed it. Loved by staff, students and governors. Can get wild at the Christmas bash.
Headmaster. Turned the school around. Head after head came and went. But it was Jurgen that managed it. Loved by staff, students and governors. Can get wild at the Christmas bash.
20. Ralph Hasenhüttl
Mini-Klopp. Doing well at his own school by all accounts. Walked away from a lucrative career as an actor in the Walking Dead. Looking for a new job at a top school in the next few years.
Mini-Klopp. Doing well at his own school by all accounts. Walked away from a lucrative career as an actor in the Walking Dead. Looking for a new job at a top school in the next few years.
21. Sam Allardyce
In and out of the school for a number of years. Maths, English, Music? He’s done them all. Bit of a dodgy character. Nonetheless, nobody can sort out misbehaviour at the back quite like Mr Allardyce.
In and out of the school for a number of years. Maths, English, Music? He’s done them all. Bit of a dodgy character. Nonetheless, nobody can sort out misbehaviour at the back quite like Mr Allardyce.
By the way
Definitively the best ranking of @premierleague managers is this from @VICE and @joelgolby https://www.vice.com/en/article/a3nq3j/ranking-every-premier-league-manager-by-how-likely-they-are-to-eat-a-worm
Definitively the best ranking of @premierleague managers is this from @VICE and @joelgolby https://www.vice.com/en/article/a3nq3j/ranking-every-premier-league-manager-by-how-likely-they-are-to-eat-a-worm
