Every heartwarming human interest story in america is like "he raised $20,000 to keep 200 orphans from being crushed in the orphan-crushing machine" and then never asks why an orphan-crushing machine exists or why you'd need to pay to prevent it from being used.

And then, when you ask why the orphan-crushing machine even exists, americans act bewildered that the large hydraulic device with a chute labelled INSERT ORPHANS HERE could be mistaken for an orphan-crushing machine

"you put orphans in, as the label suggests. It crushes them. It's even named the Orphanhammer 2000."

Only if you're foolish enough to put orphans in it, the american responds.

And if you ask why they, knowing this, continue to put orphans into the orphan-crushing machine, the american will be baffled at the idea that you wouldn't use an orphan-crushing machine.

"It's right there. Would be a waste if you didn't use it."