shit my brother says: a thread

“don’t you want brian may to be your personal old guy? no you won’t whip him and stuff i mean unless you want to- you’ll just ask him to play music and stuff. and cooking. does he cook? old people cook, right?”

“he’s a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere van making all his nowhere plans to kidnap children”

i was listening to the trooper by iron maiden and my brother asked what i was listening to and i told him iron maiden and he said “isn’t he d*ad?” and i said “who” and he said “axl rose” and i said “bruh why are you talking abou axl rose” and he said “don’t question my mind” HELP

me talking about tony iommi
my brother: haha tony. io

roger taylor’s wrinkles are cute and his accent is smooth

stevie nicks is weird like sometimes i’ll like her music and then i won’t

karma karma karma karma karma chameleon red and blue black and yellow POOOOO

tw // violence ig
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i just got smacked in the snipe
me: what
that’s what i call being decapitated

my name is lil hummus

what kind of name is back chat it makes no sense

john deacon BALLS?!

peter griffin has malleable boobs

you’ve never seen peter griffin lick his nips?

*mixes toxicity with rudolph the red nosed rejndeer*

fleetwood mac sucks even though i’ve only heard one song they seem scary to me

i’ll update this as soon as he says more weird shit