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A thought off what Rabbi @RutiRegan just taught:
Jews, abusers may be trying to push their victims to forgive especially in this season. Do not enable this if you see it, do not feel pressured into the BS if you're receiving it.
Real repentance work/tshuvah centers the victim.
Jews, abusers may be trying to push their victims to forgive especially in this season. Do not enable this if you see it, do not feel pressured into the BS if you're receiving it.
Real repentance work/tshuvah centers the victim.
An abuser who is truly penitent will
a) consider whether or not it would harm the victim for them to even reach out to try to make amends & maybe not do that
b) NOT PRESSURE OR COERCE
c) Back WAY the hell off at the first whiff of "unwelcome."
And!
a) consider whether or not it would harm the victim for them to even reach out to try to make amends & maybe not do that
b) NOT PRESSURE OR COERCE
c) Back WAY the hell off at the first whiff of "unwelcome."
And!
Forgiveness is
a) not EVER obligatory for abuse. (I have sources, it's late, I'll bring later)
b) Not relevant to whether the abuser has done tshuvah. It's never earned or owed, doesn't hinder their tshuvah. They should keep their eyes on their own blue book.
a) not EVER obligatory for abuse. (I have sources, it's late, I'll bring later)
b) Not relevant to whether the abuser has done tshuvah. It's never earned or owed, doesn't hinder their tshuvah. They should keep their eyes on their own blue book.
and c) Absolutely none of the business of random bystanders, whose concern should, again, be in SUPPORTING AND CENTERING THE NEEDS OF THE VICTIM and not participating in coercion or gaslighting. Even if they think the abuser is a "really good guy" or whatever.
Here, have some brilliant Torah: https://twitter.com/RutiRegan/status/909472377234391040?s=20
