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I've been on social media nearly my entire life. Facebook, Instagram, Tinder, you name it.
Can anyone guess my age when I received the greatest bombardment of sexually explicit messages?
When I was 11.
Starting an hour after I opened my first MySpace account.
Can anyone guess my age when I received the greatest bombardment of sexually explicit messages?
When I was 11.
Starting an hour after I opened my first MySpace account.
I remember borrowing my sister's digital camera to take a photo I would use as my profile picture.
It was a slightly blurry photo where I was wearing a horse tee-shirt.
Within an hour, nearly a dozen men had messaged me.
When I went to bed, that number skyrocketed overnight.
It was a slightly blurry photo where I was wearing a horse tee-shirt.
Within an hour, nearly a dozen men had messaged me.
When I went to bed, that number skyrocketed overnight.
I still remember the content of the bombardment of the messages. Compliments, questions, sexually explicit messages, asking where I lived, requests to meet up.
At the time, I didn't see it as disturbing. I was 11. I thought it was funny and even sometimes flattering.
At the time, I didn't see it as disturbing. I was 11. I thought it was funny and even sometimes flattering.
Even at 15, 16, or even 27, I haven't received that kind of bombardment of messages, requests.
For some reason, many more men felt compelled to bombard, harass, and manipulate a very young girl.
I am not alone in this experience. This is so common with young girls.
For some reason, many more men felt compelled to bombard, harass, and manipulate a very young girl.
I am not alone in this experience. This is so common with young girls.
Recently, an experiment was done where a 37 year old mom went undercover on social media, posing as a teenage girl. With a team, she used technology to alter photos of herself to appear very young, rather than use images of a real girl.
At first, she posed as an invented 15 year old girl and made public profiles on Instagram, Snapchat, and other platforms. This invented girl had likes, interests, but most importantly, her profile very specifically stated the age of the girl she was portraying.
The response to the 15 year old girl was bad enough. Direct messages from men were almost, within the hour, were sent to her. Requests, sexts, photos of private parts.
She decided to then try this again, but pose as an 11-year-old.
The messages were much, much more aggressive.
She decided to then try this again, but pose as an 11-year-old.
The messages were much, much more aggressive.
I still remember the content of some of those messages I received.
From the mild comments about being "cute" or "pretty" or even "sexy", to the sexually explicit comments, asking me to describe sexual things, asking if they could meet me.
From the mild comments about being "cute" or "pretty" or even "sexy", to the sexually explicit comments, asking me to describe sexual things, asking if they could meet me.
Men specifically target these very young girls because they are vulnerable. They are easy to trick and manipulate.
And, especially if you are a slightly gawky, unpopular kid, messages like this from grown men can feel flattering.
And, especially if you are a slightly gawky, unpopular kid, messages like this from grown men can feel flattering.
Many of these men have sophisticated the art of grooming someone online.
As a kid, you aren't aware you are being groomed. They make you feel special. They tell you you're "mature" or "different from other girls". They do this to eventually break down your walls and break in.
As a kid, you aren't aware you are being groomed. They make you feel special. They tell you you're "mature" or "different from other girls". They do this to eventually break down your walls and break in.
This has happened before the internet has existed--the internet has just become a huge and dangerous tool to access a child online much easier.
This has happened within families, within communities. It happens in every single culture and country. There is no discrimination.
This has happened within families, within communities. It happens in every single culture and country. There is no discrimination.
Which is why it is incredibly frustrating and angering to see this issue become another partisan, political issue.
Where so many bad faith arguments have sprung from each side, where it's suddenly left vs right, liberal vs conservative.
Where so many bad faith arguments have sprung from each side, where it's suddenly left vs right, liberal vs conservative.
This is not limited to some "Hollywood" or "elite" problem--even with all of the issues and exploitation within Hollywood.
This is a deep societal problem.
Any argument trying to frame this as a partisan issue is insulting and distracting from the pervasiveness of it.
This is a deep societal problem.
Any argument trying to frame this as a partisan issue is insulting and distracting from the pervasiveness of it.
This issue has impacted girls of every walk of life. No class, culture, or country is untouched.
We need to be careful, and mindful, of how we address this issue.
How easily we can resort to cheap political mudslinging and convenient partisan attacks.
How we tell stories and frame this issue in movies, TV shows, and elsewhere without exploiting or harming young girls.
How easily we can resort to cheap political mudslinging and convenient partisan attacks.
How we tell stories and frame this issue in movies, TV shows, and elsewhere without exploiting or harming young girls.
I think that we need to continue to tell these stories that address these issues--carefully. We need to continue to address this in films and elsewhere.
And people need to be able to critique/criticize these stories and films if they find them exploitative or inappropriate.
And people need to be able to critique/criticize these stories and films if they find them exploitative or inappropriate.
Instead, the response and conversation around this issue has skyrocketed far away from this issue into aggressive mud-slinging, name-calling, accusations and personal attacks. It's embarrassing and we need to do so much better to address this. Because this is not helping anyone.
We need to address the realities of exploitation and grooming of young girls and boys. Not just online or in popular films, but within our very communities and families.
We need to be able to address this issue without melting into yet another mud slinging partisan battlefield.
We need to be able to address this issue without melting into yet another mud slinging partisan battlefield.
I’ve been hearing from victims of sexual abuse, former child stars, and others who’ve weighed in on this.
The partisan mudslinging is not helping anyone, and it’s not making anyone safer.
We need to be mindful, in the future, of how we address and handle this systemic problem.
The partisan mudslinging is not helping anyone, and it’s not making anyone safer.
We need to be mindful, in the future, of how we address and handle this systemic problem.
