i’m all for trying to get depressed people in a better mindset, but it’s a huge red flag to me when someone says people who are depressed are comfortable living in their depression. please understand that there are boundaries you can’t cross, even if you are mentally ill too.

i try so hard to wake up every single day with the intention of feeling joy, but there’s a lot going on behind the scenes in my personal life that has made it incredibly difficult to do that sometimes.

i firmly believe “bad” feelings exist for a reason. my “bad” feelings are intense and consuming right now. i deserve to relax into them and stop fighting myself, even just for a day, for a moment. i deserve a space to wallow, to cry, to complain, to feel my feelings.

shoving down my bad thoughts with positivity and joy is excruciating. it leads to guilt when i get tired, to sorrow when my sadness doesn’t disappear no matter how hard i try, to unwavering rage when i fully grasp that i will never have a neurotypical brain.

it is unhealthy, unreasonable, and cruel to tell someone who has lived with severe depression since their childhood to simply consume more happiness. i am allowed to feel sad. i am allowed to be tired.

i am allowed to let my depression consume me for a single moment so that i can feel it in its entirety before i return to the task of trying to diminish its power over me. i am allowed to have that melancholy, and i will not let you take it away from me.