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Buh, opinion times. TW: discussion of cuties, CSA, pedos, all that nasty shit.
After watching that film, I am finding myself conflicted because I understand the whole point people have abt how though it's criticizing the sexualization of children, it still sexualized children..
After watching that film, I am finding myself conflicted because I understand the whole point people have abt how though it's criticizing the sexualization of children, it still sexualized children..
OBVIOUSLY, this is constantly framed as being negative. We see Amy is doing all this in a desperate attempt to conform to what the dominant culture is telling her to do. It wouldn't be "realistic" if it wasn't, though maybe there could have been a manner of depicting it w/o
depicting it on a camera, if you know what I mean. But I also think I want to talk about how despite good intentions, it feels like much of what we preach in anti-slut shaming gets tossed aside the moment it's a young girl. The reality is young girls will continue to reflect the
culture of what is pushed onto them. Some might have an understanding of "if I dress/act this way it's 'sexy'" but not understand what that means. Others copy because that's what the other girls are doing. I was 8 dancing to Backstreet Boys singing "Am I sexual?" I didn't know
what that meant. Individually none of us can just make the entertainment industry go away or completely revert itself. And modeling is a powerful tool, and surprise, the industry is aware of that. The music enjoyed by adults specifically attracts young girls who want to be seen
as "grown up". Statistically, boys and girls have similar self-esteem levels up to around pre-teen years, and this notion of being "grown up" very much is a contributing factor. Young boys are influenced to get "it" and young girls are influenced to act sexy but if they ever
gave "it" to a boy, they are slut-shamed for that fact despite that being what the culture told them is what they ought to do. We have a fundamental flaw in viewing sex as something to be "taken" from girls, and that any girl having agency over her body directly pushes
back against the culture. So parents are of course concerned about their daughters being manipulated and coerced but handle it in a manner that puts the onus on them to not be sexualized when the reality is that a child's actions don't truly matter, they will be sexualized anyway
So many women/afabs have stories of the first time they were sexualized. I was 11 and I dressed and acted like a child. Others weren't even in the double digits. We realize as adults it was the fault of predators thinking those things. So I guess what I'm getting at is
No matter WHAT, there will be continued exploitation of children in the media until we can completely revamp how we sexualize children. We tell the child they're a whore if they go out in a revealing shirt and makeup instead of yelling at predators for seeing anything BUT a child
We have limited control over what influences children. Ofc they want to be "grown up" because being grown up means you're in control of your own agency. Slut-shaming your child either makes them rebel harder or they leave the house as soon as possible and go through learning all
the lessons about bodily autonomy and identity they should have learned as teens. We tell them "no" without even thinking as to why. My dad freaked out about a bathing suit when I was like 12, but my 12 y/o brain was like "umm...it's just a bikini" I couldn't see what he was
so afraid of because that's where I was developmentally. And I ain't saying he was wrong for being concerned but the conversations revolve around "don't wear this" and "if you dance like that people will think you're a slut" instead of talking about consent, boundaries,
bodily autonomy, etc. We force our girls to accept that they'll be forced upon by others from a young age when we don't give them a choice to kiss aunty on the cheek or not. We instill that their clothing choices are dictated based on what makes them "look like a slut" or not
We control everything about their expression, so no wonder so many girls are lured by the idea of skipping to adulthood and being grown up. This isn't to say though that we CAN'T have a discussion about what a kid is wearing but the framing needs to be different.
Conformity is a major factor in what young girls wear. Are we telling them to wear what they feel reflects their inner self? Do we ask what compels them to wear that skirt? Do we ask if they feel pressured to have makeup like that because 'that's the style everyone has'?
We don't have a discussion about systemic misogyny and how the structure of what's in or not is entirely arbitrary. We don't discuss how if your "friends" cannot accept you unless you look a certain way are toxic. Teen years are about discovering identity and there will always be
some style choices that will be baffling if not revealing. Adults have a panic response to that because they're aware that the world is unsafe but they have no means of stopping that. They wrongfully assume a manner of dress will prevent sexual assault but predators only look at
who is a vulnerable target and can be manipulated. It doesn't matter if your child is covered head to toe in a potato sack if they are not taught to assert their boundaries and to not give in under pressure or coercion. Those things are tools to navigate their adult relationships
and we're sending them out to the world empty handed because we shun and shame instead of guiding them and helping them make rational decisions. Most likely your daughter will be an adult and have sexual relationships. She NEEDS these tools so she isn't manipulated and abused.
But uhhh, getting back to Cuties: I've read about the director basing this off her personal experiences and I do think it's a good depiction of what it's like being in that awkward age of trying to balance forcing yourself to grow up versus being content being a child for now
I've read and do agree though that maybe the message could have been sent by other means that didn't require the actors to actually do the thing being criticized. I hope though if anything comes out of this, people take that rightfully justified anger and point it at the systems
keeping the exploitation of children going. Even Netflix's marketing for this movie is a good example of it: I have no doubt in my mind that having a thumbnail of the children posed like that would get people raging at the film. But I think the focus is too much on one film and
not on the overarching problem. We can at the very least start on equipping our children to sniff out predators, assert themselves, and disown anyone in our lives that even make suggestively lewd comments about children. I think imo, we can have a generational shift by doing that
