Baby Daddy and my wife-in-28-days have gone together to the Home Depot and I had to take care of a kid thing so I am VERY MUCH sad I cannot live tweet this event

the FOMO is too much. I am getting in the car and meeting them there.

The only clue I have so far about how it’s going is a single, mysterious, photo which was sent to me without comment

WHAT DOES IT MEAN

When your ex husband and your wife send you pictures of patio lights

I have arrived at the Home Depot and have received a text that they are looking at ladders

They have both wanted a ladder and I have said we do not need one and so this bodes... me being outnumbered.

I will report when I find them.

Oh no they are checking out and I have not found them what are they buying

This is a conspiracy

Look at the guilty faces on these mfs

Baby Daddy has reminded me today is my 500th birthday

It is, in fact. I googled.

500 months babee

They bought me a Diet Coke

Now they are loading the ladder into my trunk. I do not think the ladder will fit. They tell me I am wrong.

Update it fits fine

Now they are driving home together

I am driving alone with the ladder

Just gon sit here alone for a minute and drink my Diet Coke bribe @dnlrntr

They have called to tell me they are buying me a Whopper from Burger King so idek what’s gonna happen when we get home, there is definitely some sort of plan here and I am definitely not in the loop

I’m home but they can unload their traitorous ladder their own selves

Hello giant boxes in the garage

Pretty sure these do not require a ~ladder

This seems fine

I have been told I am not allowed to tweet pictures of the two traitors eating their whoppers together

Thick as thieves those two

Now we are teaching 14yos about TORQUE and WRATCHET CHOICE and 14yo is getting too many ideas here honestly

There is a giant wet spot on my ass and I have ZERO idea how it got there, which is mildly concerning

Baby Daddy is complaining that I always beat him at word games. He is very mad about it

“I have never beat you at a head to head competition EVEN ONCE” he says

“Maybe you should arm wrestle?” H suggests

Baby Daddy seems tempted

“But,” says H, “she’s been doing pushups”

Baby Daddy has declined the arm wrestling match