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CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
A friend shared a pic of a person talking about how they wanted a dom but just sternly telling them to drink water. And I realised that not a lot of people know about the range of dom/sub relationships that can exist. So I just wanted to talk about that a bit.
A friend shared a pic of a person talking about how they wanted a dom but just sternly telling them to drink water. And I realised that not a lot of people know about the range of dom/sub relationships that can exist. So I just wanted to talk about that a bit.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
So first thing, right off the top. None of this exists without consent. If you're an adult nobody can tell you what you have to do with your body without your consent. These relationships I'm talking about are discussed, agreed upon, and consentual situations.
So first thing, right off the top. None of this exists without consent. If you're an adult nobody can tell you what you have to do with your body without your consent. These relationships I'm talking about are discussed, agreed upon, and consentual situations.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
But what is a dom (dominant) and a sub (submissive) and what is a dom/sub relationship?
Dominance and submission are a set of behaviours in which two (or more) people set up a power relationship tween them. For now I'm going to speak between two folk.
But what is a dom (dominant) and a sub (submissive) and what is a dom/sub relationship?
Dominance and submission are a set of behaviours in which two (or more) people set up a power relationship tween them. For now I'm going to speak between two folk.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
The dominant enacts power over the submissive and the submissive submits to said dom's domination, whatever that might entail.
Dom is often gendered as 'domme' for women/femme folk, but for all intents and purposes I just say dom as overarching.
The dominant enacts power over the submissive and the submissive submits to said dom's domination, whatever that might entail.
Dom is often gendered as 'domme' for women/femme folk, but for all intents and purposes I just say dom as overarching.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
Some folk are both dom and sub, and many such folk refer to themselves as 'switches' because they 'switch' between dom and sub.
Some folk are both dom and sub, and many such folk refer to themselves as 'switches' because they 'switch' between dom and sub.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
Now a lot of dom/sub stuff conjures images of hypersexuality and impact play (spanking, punching) and paraphillia (use of leather, bondage), but this is (albeit a sizeable part of dom/sub relationships), only about half of it.
Now a lot of dom/sub stuff conjures images of hypersexuality and impact play (spanking, punching) and paraphillia (use of leather, bondage), but this is (albeit a sizeable part of dom/sub relationships), only about half of it.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
You can have dom/sub relationships that are entirely platonic.
You can have dom/sub relationships that include little to no other elements of bdsm at all.
You can have dom/sub relationships that are entirely platonic.
You can have dom/sub relationships that include little to no other elements of bdsm at all.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
In the same way (for example) not every dom wants to whip every sub, not every sub wants to be whipped.
You get soft doms who engage in gentle bdsm often treating their partners very affectionately who's sternness is marked more by hugs and holds.
In the same way (for example) not every dom wants to whip every sub, not every sub wants to be whipped.
You get soft doms who engage in gentle bdsm often treating their partners very affectionately who's sternness is marked more by hugs and holds.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
Obviously this subject matter is very expansive and I'm not being exhaustive.
But you can include BDSM and dom/sub dynamics into your everyday relationships (with consenting parties obviously).
Obviously this subject matter is very expansive and I'm not being exhaustive.
But you can include BDSM and dom/sub dynamics into your everyday relationships (with consenting parties obviously).
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
In an ideal world you could ask your platonic friends to be stricter with you. Obviously BDSM and sub/dom issues have been so sexualised that this might be weird given the world we live in, so... be careful who you ask...
In an ideal world you could ask your platonic friends to be stricter with you. Obviously BDSM and sub/dom issues have been so sexualised that this might be weird given the world we live in, so... be careful who you ask...
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
There are instances of people in 'poly' situations where they have a vanilla (non-bdsm, non-dom/sub) relationship and have a dom who's platonic and both relationships are as meaningful and loving. This isn't always true 'poly' but again it's personal.
There are instances of people in 'poly' situations where they have a vanilla (non-bdsm, non-dom/sub) relationship and have a dom who's platonic and both relationships are as meaningful and loving. This isn't always true 'poly' but again it's personal.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
Again the most important aspects remain transparency, honesty, and consent. Don't lie to your partners. Talk to your partners. Work out consent issues.
Again the most important aspects remain transparency, honesty, and consent. Don't lie to your partners. Talk to your partners. Work out consent issues.
CW: BDSM, DOM/SUB
Whether it's platonic or sexual or romantic, etc.
Whether it's platonic or sexual or romantic, etc.
