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Attention: @cushbomb @ByYourLogic @willmenaker I can rebuild your brand. I have a comprehensive plan to restore your business to a steady rate of growth within six months, please open your DMs.
Step One - Consolidation: Cut Virgil and Amber loose. Virgil is awkward, flaky and NOT an asset to your brand. CTH has no future as a business with him continuing as a partner. Amber is politically dangerous and alienates your core audience. You can find better women.
Step Two - Makeover: I know this may not be a kind thing to say but your aesthetics are not good. Most of you will need to lose a significant amount of weight. You'll need a hairdressing/cosmetic team to ensure you present better. Your wardrobes will need to be completely purged.
Step Three - Transition to Video: Joe Rogan has the most successful podcast in the world. Do you think he got that way by simply being a disembodied voice? No, you'll need to integrate video on a well-designed set if you want to grow in this crowded market.
Step Four - Parasociality: At times some of you have criticised the fanbase, particularly the subreddit. Never. Do. This. Again. You must fulfil every whim of the fanbase. You must make them think you are their friends. Because for the most part, you are the only thing they have.
Step Five - Sexuality: So you've gotten rid of Amb*r. You need another woman to protect the brand. Make sure she's 1. Non-white and 2. Hot as fuck. I know this might make you uncomfortable, but you are going to need an E-Girl of Colour if you want to expand your audience.
Step Six - Networking: Branch out to other content providers and integrate your product into established channels. Why not do a special on Adult Swim? Have you ever contacted Eric Andre? Keep doing this sort of thing and you can present a portfolio of work to Netflix.
Step Seven - Fire Discipline: Attack Trump more Biden less (especially as the election comes closer). Your audience will be voting Biden and they don't want to be shamed for it. You're selling a product and your audience wants to be VALIDATED. Remember: validation is the product
This rough strategy should see you past the election. Once that time comes we'll have to re-evaluate depending on its outcome. If you'd like more information on achieving operational and tactical goals within this framework please don't hesitate to DM me.
